dry your eyes mate
by rolly21
Summary: What is it, that can make one woman pack up and leave the man that she loves? And will he be strong enough to make her see that they belong together? When Meredith turns to her family what will she find?
1. Chapter 1

**In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round  
I stand there for a minute starin' straight into the ground  
Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down  
World feels like it's caved in - proper sorry frown  
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us  
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust  
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust  
We can even have an open relationship, if you must  
I look at her she stares almost straight back at me  
But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin' straight through me  
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity  
When they open up she's lookin' down at her feet**

Dry your eyes mate  
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up  
There's plenty more fish in the sea  
Dry your eyes mate  
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts  
But you've got to walk away now  
It's over

So then I move my hand up from down by my side  
It's shakin', my life is crashin' before my eyes  
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies  
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh  
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me  
There's things I can't imagine doin', things I can't imagine seein'  
It weren't supposed to be easy, surely  
Please, please, I beg you please  
She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested  
She wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she's blessed with  
She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures  
By pushin' my hand away to my chest, from hers

Dry your eyes mate  
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up  
There's plenty more fish in the sea  
Dry your eyes mate  
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts  
But you've got to walk away now  
It's over

And I'm just standin' there, I can't say a word  
'Cause everythin's just gone  
I've got nothin'  
Absolutely nothin'

Tryin' to pull her close out of bare desperation  
Put my arms around her tryin' to change what she's sayin'  
Pull my head level with hers so she might engage in  
Look into her eyes to make her listen again  
I'm not gonna fuckin', just fuckin' leave it all now  
'Cause you said it'd be forever and that was your vow  
And you're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down  
You're well out of order now, this is well out of town  
She pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round her waist  
Gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight  
Turns around so she's now got her back to my face  
Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away

Dry your eyes mate  
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up  
There's plenty more fish in the sea  
Dry your eyes mate  
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts  
But you've got to walk away now  
It's over

I know in the past I've found it hard to say  
Tellin' you things, but not tellin' straight  
But the more I pull on your hand and say  
The more you pull away

Dry your eyes mate  
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up  
There's plenty more fish in the sea  
Dry your eyes mate  
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts  
But you've got to walk away now.  



	2. Chapter 2

"It's over." the words fell from her lips as she stood at the door to the house that they shared.

Turning her head away, she couldn't bear to see the pain in his previously vacant eyes. There truly was only so much one person can take.

Looking down at the ring on her hand, she pulls it off and places it on the small table.

"I've taken a position in Seattle." she continues. "I figured that if i am far enough away from you them maybe, just maybe i can move on." she chokes on the last part before she then reaches for the last of her bags. She had already loaded the others into the car.

"Mer" he says softly, his voice pleading as he struggles to keep his tears at bay.

"Please" he adds as he watches her begin the walk to the car.

She climbs into her jeep, trying her best not to look back at the man who had once been her everything, and yet lately, seemed to have become a shadow of himself.

She waited until she had climbed into her car and had turned on the ignition before she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. She didnt need for him to see how much pain this was causing her, after all, it was her decision to call it quits.


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith walked down the dark corridor. She knew that it was late, but could rely on him being here. After all of this time, she knew that this was where he would always be until all crazy hours of the night, despite the fact that he had a wife at home.

She knocked at his door before hearing the promting to enter. Slowly she turned the door knob and peeked into the room. There he was with piles of files stacked around him in a way that he always seemed to be.

She watched as he slowly lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers and a small gasp escaped him.

He hadnt really expected her here so soon, after all, the drive would have taken her forever, and it was a trip that she had described as time to pick up the pieces to see if they could fit back together without him.

Meredith moved into the room and on reaching his desk, she crumbled. She couldn't hide the damage that this was doing to her, and knew that crumbling in front of him was safe as it was something he seemingly understood.

Derek moved out from behind the table, picking her up and carrying her to the empty couch, taking a seat while still focusing on holding her close and soothing her.

There had always been something about Merediththat had him wanting to keep her safe, wanting to protect her and yet, he ahd never been able to define what it was.

He knew that they couldn not stay like this, no matter how much he wanted to hold her close. All it took was the wrong person to walk in and see them like this and it would spread like wildfire.

Derek held her until her tears finally ceased and then he lowered her to the couch.

"I'm okay.' she finally uttered and he moved to brush her hair back from her face.

"You're not" he said quietly, and let out a sigh, "but you will be." he tells herwith a promise and leans in and kisses her forehead.

Meredith moved to brush the tears from her eyes, and struggled to take a deep breath.

"so you're here" he finally said after giving her a moment to gather herself.

"i'm here" she murmured and tried to smile.

"good" he said with a sigh and moved from the couch beside her to tidy his things for the ngiht.

"you know its not going to be easy." he told her as he picked up up his laptop bag, putting the strap over his shoulder.

Meredith nodded, and struggled to stand, grabbing for her tote bag. "things never are." she told him.

Derek smiled softly at her and moved to grab her hand, "come on mer, lets get you settled."


	4. Chapter 4

Derek opened the front door and let Meredith in. He then slowly led her through the house, making sure to put his bag in the study. He then noticed the light on in the kitchen.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked and she gave a small nod, allowing him to then lead her towards the kitchen.

She could hear her sisters voice, and knew that she was most likely talking to the man that had been a big part of her life, the one she had just left.

"Mark i'm sure i'll be seeing her soon." she head her say, and her suspicions were confirmed.

Derek looked apologetically at Meredith knowing that she could very well do a bolt.

"It's ok." she said, and again forced a smile.

Derek sighed as he pushed open the door and looked at his wife who was sitting on the kitchen bench talking on the phone and picking at the fruit salad that she had obviously made.

He watched as she turned her head and the phone that she had pressed against her ear dropped to the bench. Derek was surprised that it hadnt fallen further.

Addie was quick to jump off of the bench and pull her sister into her arms. " oh god mer I've been so worried." she said as she held her sister tight.

................. ........................ ................... ............

Mark had heard the phone bang and was not sure what to think. That was of course until he heard Addie speak again, this time her voice seemed muffled as if she was a short distance from the phone and that was when he heard his wifes sobs. He felt his whole world go crashing around him. She truly had gone to Seattle. She truly wanted to be away from him.

He hung his end of the phone up, not being able to listen to her broken cried, and unable to fight his own.


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith woke to an empty bed, which she should have expected considering she was no longer in New York, but was now in Seattle. She was in the guest room at her sisters house trying to do her best to not crumble.

She knew that it was only a matter of time before the rest of her family knew that she was here, and if she knew Addie well enough, she was probably already on the phone, or had been, to their mother.

Meredith rubbed the welling tears from her eyes as she pushed back the quilt covers. Looking down at his NYU shirt that she had brought with her, she could still smell him on it, and she knew that the shirt was the only reason why she had been able to sleep through the whole night.

Meredith moved to get out of her ed, a hand resting knowingly over her stomach as she tried to soothe the nausea that was building. She had known for weeks now but had not been able to bring herself to tell him. She knew that he didnt want a baby yet. Christ her was a big enough kid as it was. She knew that she couldn't look after them both and herself at the same time, as well as salvage her career.

The smell of pancakes wafted up from the kitchen, and Meredith knew that Derek was the one responsible for it. Especially since he knew that they were her favourite.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and pushed her padded feet to the cold timber floors.

Moving to stand she exhaled and ran a hand through her tangled locks. She knew that if she was able to make it though breakfast then she would survive the nausea, and push on with her day.

As it was, she knew that she needed to go to the hospital and sign the contract Derek had drawn up for her, and then she needed to buy a place, somewhere suitable for her to raise a child, and yet not too big, as she needed to make sure she could keep it clean.

Moving across the room she pulled on a pair of his pajama pants and began to trudge down the stairs.

It was when she reached the base that she could hear the raised voices and could only guess what they were arguing over.

"Derek, he is your brother." She heard Addie argue.

She heard Derek slam his fist against something before hearing him growl. " Dont you think i know that Addie Damn it! But you're sister needs us. You just cant betray that! Im not inviting him here."

"She needs him." she heard Addie protests and that was when she took a deep breath and pushed the door open, catching them completely off guard.

Addie looked down at the coffee in her hand before looking back at Derek.

Derek just shook his head and went back to cooking the pancakes.

Meredith moved to sit at the table and Addie passed her a cup of coffee. Meredith looked down at it before moving it away from her. " No thanks." she murmured.

Addie raised an eyebrow at her sister, but didnt say anything.

"So i know you've got to sign a contract with Derek this afternoon, but mom and the girls want to have lunch." Addie said trying to get her younger sister to open up.

Meredith nodded and accepted the glass of juice Derek had placed in front of her. "Thanks" she said quietly and smiled softly at him.

"I'll get the contract signed and your name added to the roster." Derek told her as he rested a hand on her back, passing her a plate of pancakes at the same time.

" I will make sure they give you a couple of days to settle before your first shift." he added.

Meredith nodded and smiled a thanks. " So mom knows im here." she said more as a statement than anything else.

"Yer" Addie said quietly, and couldnt think up a good explanation for it.

Meredith looked at her knowingly, but didnt say anything further. Her head was already full, adding worries concerning her sister would just send her into overload.

Meredith shifted her focus back to the food in front of her. She had every intention of finishing her juice and pancakes before having a hot shower and tending to the things she really needed to do.

Addie sighed as she watched Derek finish the cleaning before moving to kiss her on the head. "We will finish this at work." he told her before leaving the room, calling a goodbye as he walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Meredith hated that Addie had done this to her. She didnt want to be meeting her mother and sisters for lunch. She did not want to explain to them why she had walked out on Mark, just to be told to suck it up and get back to where she belonged, but how was she supposed to do that if home wasnt where it was meant to be, if she couldnt pinpoint where she belonged.

Now as she trailed Addie into the small cafe, she couldnt think of anywhere she would rather be right now, because in reality, there was no where she could go.

She didnt look around as she knew that all her eyes would meet were the disappointed faces of her family.

Addie pulled out a chair and sat down. Meredith reluctantly sat down beside her. She still hadnt looked up when her mother cleared her throat.

"So its not that im not happy to see you Meredith, but are you going to fill us in on why you have left your husband and moved home?" she asked rather business like. "its rather odd that Derek knows more about this than what we do."

Meredith sighed and buried her head in her hands.

"Mer" Molly said, seeing that Meredith was obviously in pain, and broken by whatever had happened.

"Mer" Lexie said sounding a little more perky.

Meredith could feel her mothers eyes on her, grueling her as she avoided their questions.

"Mark called completely devastated." Addie offered. "apparently Mer had packed the car, gave him her rings back, and then left."

Meredith heard her sisters and mother begin to discuss the situation, not even worried that Meredith was there.

"Maybe we should invite him out here." Lexie suggested.

"Well at least he didnt cheat." Ellis said warily, waiting to see if there was a reactionn.

Meredith looked up on hearing this.

She moved to enter the discussion when a voice broke through, interrupting her. "Meredith" the person spoke and she turned to see her step father Richard. He placed a hand on her shoulder, before giving it a squeeze. Meredith looked up and tried to smile, but was un able to do so.

"Your mother said you were home." he told her. "but where is Mark?"

Meredith closed her eyes before dropping her head again.

" she left him" Ellis informed him as he reached her and dropped a kiss to her cheek. " but what we havent figured out is why"

Richard looked over at Meredith. He knew that she wasnt one to make rash decisions. His face filled with concern as he saw the pain in her eyes. "im sure it wasnt a decision she made lightly." he offered, " and meredith will tell you when she is ready."

Ellis shot him a look and he put his hands up in surrender.

Ellis sighed, and everyone moved to make space for Richard to sit.

Everyone eyed Meredith carefully, their conversation dying out due to Richards presence.

As they waited for their meals to arrive their conversations then drifted ina nd out, and yet all Meredith wanted to do was leave.


	7. Chapter 7

"You cant be here." was the first thing Meredith heard when she reached Dereks office. At first she was thinking that he was talking to her and she looked up at him confused. It was only then that she realised that he was on the phone.

Meredith moved to back out of the room until she heard him speak again. "look mark, maybe she just needs space." he said with a bit of a sigh. " i cant give you answers Mark, but while you've got the time, maybe you should start thinking about what actually went wrong."

It was then that he looked up, feeling her presence. He could see that she was exhausted and knew how rough her family could be. "I've got to go" she heard him say as he moved to hang up. She could hear Mark yelling down the line, briefly mentioning her name.

Derek looked at her apologetically as he moved from behind his desk towards her. "Sorry about that" he murmured as he took her in his arms.

Meredith had no response. She just fell flatly into his arms.

"Come on Mer" Derek sighed as he helped her into a chair. He then sat down in her seat. Meredith put her head in her hands as tears slowly began to spill onto her cheeks.

"Mer," Derek said as his hands ran in circles on her back.

"I dont think i can do this." she cried into her hands, her body tired, and her head full.

"Do what?" Derek asked.

"When they know why i left Der, when they know why i came back. They wont understand Der, they will hate me." she said through her sobs.

"Why Mer? Why did you leave?" he asked as he moved away from her to rest against his desk. "Did he cheat?" Derek asked, trying to get understanding.

"God no" Meredith said as she shook her head.

"Did you cheat" he asked her, completely scared of the answer.

"I'd never" she says as she looks up at him, shaking her head.

"Come on Mer. Theres got to be a good reason to leave behind the man you've been married to for the past 8 years." Derek said as he searched her eyes for the truth.

"I...i.... im pregnant" she finally chokes out as she looked up at him. "and he... and i cant... and i wont." she said as she tried to wipe away her tears.

"Your pregnant?" Derek asked, his eyes widening at the news.

Meredith nodded.

"but thats great Mer" Derek told her, "so why did you leave."

"he never wanted kids," meredith said sadly. "and we both know he is still a big kid. Christ Der, he bought himself a nintendo wii the night before i left. When he's not playing computer games Der he is either in surgery or wanting sex."

Derek winced at the thought.

"I wont be the one looking after two kids and i cant do this alone. So that is why i am here."she stated. "thats why i am home."

Derek sighed knowing that even though she was ere she still needed and wanted Mark.

"I can do this Der." She whimpered. "I can have this baby and survive this." she added as she pushed up off of her chair and grabbed a tissue.

On blowing her nose, and wiping her tears from her eyes she turned back to Derek.. "My contract?" she questioned quietly.

"We will hold off on the contract." Derek said cautiously. "You can trial it here, make sure that this is what you want."

"Der" she said pleadingly.

"No Mer, seriously think about what it is that you are doing here." he said as he put the papers away knowing that this was the right thing for him to do. Not only for himself but for his brother.

Meredith looked at him, not sure what to think. Reluctantly he moved, with as much strength as she could muster, turned her back on her brother in law and left behind what she had thought to have been a sure thing. Now all she felt she had was nothing. She was right back to where she had been 10 years before.


	8. Chapter 8

Marks eyes were swollen, it was hard for anyone to work out whether it was the tears that he had been crying or the affects of the alcohol. Either way, when Weiss rocked up at the bar at8 that night he knew that he had to get him out of there before he did something he could possibly regret.

Approaching him, he warily sat down on the chair next to him, before resting a hand on Marks shoulder.

"Not interested." Mark grunted as he took another mouth full of scotch.

"Damn shame" said the girl standing on the other side of him as she took the drink she had just ordered. "Cos honey you look like pure sex"

Mark ignored her and took another mouth full of his drink, he didnt need the attention of any woman, and definitely not some bar fly. He needed his Meredith. She had ruined him. She was the reason he wasnt sleeping, he missed her tiny body pressed up to his. He even missed the snore that no matter how loud and menacing, some how lulled him to sleep.

Thoughts of Meredith filled his head and soon enough the tears began to fill his eyes and a broken sob escaped him.

"Come on Man, lets get you home." Weiss told him, and Mark shrugged him off.

"Mark" Weiss said again, being a little more persistant. "Its time for you to go home."

"No!"Mark all but yelled, drawing a few interested looks from people around the bar. "I dont have a home." he said as he pulled his arm away from weiss. "Meredith was my home and she's not here." he said as he stumbled to his feet.

"I get it man."Weiss said as he tried to comfort him.

"Savvy is still where she belongs so no, you dont get it!" he yelled as he turned his back and began to stumble from the bar, he had a sudden need for air.

Weiss sighed and grabbed his jacket and quickly followed Mark. He was worried that he would be that upset that he would climb in his car and drive, despite how drunk he was.

He was surprised to find Mark sitting on the bonnet of his car, looking down at the keys in his hand.

"Fuck Mark" he said as he walked over to him and snatched the keys off of him.

"I cant drive" Mark mumbled.

Weiss nodded, relieved that Mark at least had enough sense to make that decision.

"Mer would kill me." he choked out and he put his head in his hands.

Weiss helped walk him to the passengers side, and made sure that he got into the car.

They continued the drive in silence as Weiss drove them through the streets of Manhatten towards Marks brown stone. Mark then watched as Mark stumbled out of the car, and up the steps to the empty house that he knew was nothing without her.

**I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything**

What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns  
Upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
The feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here

What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt

If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way  



	9. Chapter 9

Richard watched as Ellis paced the library of their new home. He was unsure of what she was thinking , or even why she was so concerned.

He watched her continue before he finally moved to stop her. "For godsakes Ellis, stand still." he told her as he grabbed a hold of her arm. "Whats come over you."

"Richard" she went to start, wanting to fight him off, and yet her body ws giving in to the comfort of his touch.

"Ellie" he said as his voice grew softer, and filled with concern.

"Addie called." se told him.

"and" he said as he prompted her to continue.

"And Savvy said there was no warning that Meredith was leaving." she said, "and she thinks that Derek knows something but he wont tell her."

"Ellie." he said with a sigh. He knew that she was genuinely worried about her daughter.

"Richard, Mark's heartbroken. Weiss found him at the bar drunk. Hiseyes were swolen from his tears that he had cried." Ellis argued.

"Ellie, somethimes things just dont workout." Richard argued softly. He needed her to see that this wasnt something that she could necessarily fix.

"Do you think i dont know that?" Ellis snapped as she pulled away from him. "My ex-husband fell in live with our daughters Nanny, do you think i dont understand that things just dont work out." she said as her face turned red in anger. "I worked my arse off to get us into a nice house, the kids into private schools, and to make sure he could focus on his work, and yet e still had an affair. So dont ever say things just dont work, because it is people who make them not work."

Richard sighed, seeing that he had struck a nerve. "What do you want me to say?"

Ellis looked down at her shaking hands. "Nothing" she murmured as an ache filled her body.

"I.. I just want to know why Meredith left." she said as she began to play with her watch.

"The only person who can tell you that is Meredith." Richard told her as he reached for her hand.

"but she wont talk about it." llis complained, and Richard looked his wife over carefully, surprised that her rant about her ex husband had hurt them both so much.

"Give her time." he told her as he kissed her forehead before leaving the study and her behind.

He knew that he might as well go to bed alone tonight, knowing that it could take some time for Ellis to shut her mind off, and let sleep over take her.


	10. Chapter 10

Derek had been toying with the idea all night, about calling Mark and letting him know what was going on in Merediths head.

He ahted the position that he now found himself in. For if he had called Mark, he would be betraying Merediths trust, but in not calling, he was betraying Mark.

The predicamtnet lead to very little sleep, and if that wasnt bad enough than adding Addison to the mix, meant that sleeping on the couch became certain because not only did she want to know where Meredith had disappeared to when she came and grabbed her bags, but also what se had told him about the situation with Mark.

So in avoiding answering the question not only did he not get to sleep in his own bed, but he also was betraying two peoople who he held close to his heart.

Derek continued to fret over the thought even now as he studied the new schedule. Thompkins, his new head of Neuro had just finished preparing it.

Meredith had been written into the schedule, and as requested she was not going to start for a couple more days.

He sill hadnt decided what he was going to do about the situation found himself in. specially now as he looks up at his office door which is slowly opening.

Pinching his nose Derek then moved to slip the roster away before looking to see who was visiting.

"Is now a good time?" Addie asked as she slipped through the door way..

Derek tried to cover his sidh that espcaped him, and yet gave a nod inviting her in

Addie tried to hide the pout that was on her face as she mved further into the room before taking a seat in his lap.

Dereks arms moved naturally around Addies waist and his hand began to toy with the edge of her blouse.

"Der" she said with a sigh as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Addie" he replied as she dropped a kiss to her forehead.

"She's not answering my phone calls." she opened as her hand moved to toy with the ring on his chain.

"She might need a little time. I dont know." he answered quietly, not sure if this conversation was leading anywhere in particular or not.

"I just..." Addie said with a sigh. "I think she really needs me right now Der... maybe more than she realises."

Derek runs a hand through his wifes hair, relishing the opportunity to do so.

Since Derek had taken over the job as Chief of Surgery, he really hadnt been able to spend a lot of time with her, and in many ways it was slowly causing a rift between them.

"Hmmm" he sighed knowing that it was true. "I think Mer is in a funny place right now." he told ehr, "and we really need to just sit back and see where this takes us."

Addie looked at him carefully. She knew that he knew something, but after pushing him lastnight she wasnt going to try again.

"She's scheduled to start work on wednesday." Derek told his wife. "How about we leave her be until then." Derek suggested.

Addie sighed but nodded. She knew that he was right, after all, he knew more about what was going on than anyone.


	11. Chapter 11

Meredith laid her head back against the cold tiled floors. The coolnesssoothing her wet clammy skin. She had woken up all hot and sweaty from her nightmare, and then remained in front of the toilet bowl as morning sickness seemed to kick in.

Now as she closed her eyes, a few tears escaped her, and trickled down her face. She couldnt do this. It was hurting her too much. Her body had emptied itself and now she was lying alone on the floor too scared to move. She needed him. Evn if this wasnt what he wanted. She needed him becase he always was able to make everything feel better. That was of course she ha walked away, now, well now she doubted that he would be even able to look at her.

She had her regrets, now that she was residing on the otherside of the country. She knew that she was lost without him, and that knowledg did not make any of this easier.

What in the hell was she thinking that she could do this without him. She just had to keep reminding herself tat he didnt want this. That of course was the only thing that was stopping her from running back to him. That and her great sense of pride which was telling ehr that no matter how much she needed him, she had been the one to leave, so she shouldnt be able to be the one to simply return.

Wiping the remnants of the tears away, there was only one thing that she knew she could do. Reaching for the phone she picked it up and dialed the oh so familiar number.

On hearing the person answer, it took all that she had within her to murmur the three simple words. "I NEED YOU"

DRY YOUR EYES, DRY YOUR EYES

Mark looked at the papers he had sitting in front of him It had been difficult for him to sit infront of his attorney and tell him what he had wanted, but after Weiss had dropped him home and he had sobered up, he had done just that. Now here he was looking over the papers that would finalise everything. It was weird to bring someting as big as this to an end, however it seemed like it was the right thing to do.

In reality Mark knew that there were other alternatives, but nothing had seemed so obvious as this.

Tracing his fingers over the words that were there, it seemed like everything had been considered. All he needed to do was sign his name and he would be done.

There was a great sense of loss as he completed his signature. A big chunk of who he was seemed to fade away.

Filing the papers in a yellow envelope, he then made sure to check the address before buzzing his secretary to come collect them. She would have them in the mail this afternoon and would ensure that they would get to their destination safely.

Mark watched as Stephie - his secretary - skipped into the room to collect them. She then smiled before leaving. Se understood what her job was, adn Mark remembered the day that Meredith had warned her not to consider otherwise.

"Im done" he sighed to no one in particular as he gathered his things and left his office. He knew that it would be the last time that he stood with in those walls.


	12. Chapter 12

Three simple words, the "i need you". They had fallen desperately from her daughters tongue, and they had sent her reeling. It was a plea that didnt come from her daughters, this one on particular, very often. She was very head strong, passionatel and fiercely proud.

It had take quite the coaxing to get her location, and when she arrived she found the front door open.

Warily she walked into the foreign place. She had never been here before, and she was quite sure that as she took in her first few steps, she would be stopping here longer than she originally thought.

The house was bare, and as Ellis continued to move through, she couldnt imagine her daughter living here.

"Meredith" Ellis called out, but was only met by a whimper which seemed to trail from upstairs.

Moving towards the stair case Ellis began to proceed cautiously. She didnt know what room she would find her in. If there were any rooms at all.

Proceeding down the darkened hallway Ellis looked in every door, she could see what rooms were going to be bedrooms or would be best used as bedrooms. She passed a bathroom before reaching a room at hte end. A room that seemed fairly larger that the others, but it was also empty. Meredith wasnt in there.

Taking a step into the room, she could see an open door on the otherside.

Noticing the white tiles that met the carpet, Ellis figured that it must be an ensuite bathroom, and yet, still proceeded with cautiong, making a point of calling merediths name one more time.

She heard the whimper again, and it definitely seemed to be coming from the bathroom that she was walking towards.

Moving faster now, Ellis entered the bathroom only to gasp. Her eyes focused on her daughter, and softened as they took in the sight.

Meredith looked up at her with tears trickling down her cheeks.

Ellis moved quickly to her, wrapping her arms around her fragile daughter.

** ok... so i know everyone wanted her to call mark... but we dont always get what we want... hehehe...  
**


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith walked into the hospital. She was more than ready to start work today. She needed something to keep her busy while she tried to work out the mess in her head.

Her mother had managed to talk some sort of sense in to her, but mostly she had reassured her that she was a strong woman who should know what the right thing was to do. She hadn't tried to boss her or send her back to New York, which is what Meredith had originally feared, but had found her mother suggesting that she should at least call Mark and let him know that she was safe and that she just needed some time to deal with the things in her head.

Meredith had tried to do that too, but on calling the landline she had found that the phone had been disconnected and his mobile was either out of range or turned off. She hadn't bothered leaving a message as she knew that he didn't check them often.

Now as she slipped on her new Jacket and her Lavender scrubs she just wished that she was back home. Especially when other people would want to ask questions, and they would try to befriend her.

Problem was, she didn't want or need any friends. She had this. Besides, with her head being all over the shop, and not knowing for sure whether she was coming or going, she couldn't afford to get close.

"You all set?" A voice came from behind her and she turned to see Addie standing there with Lexie. Both were also doctors here. Addie was a neonatal surgeon, and Lexie, well she was a4th year resident who seemed to have a liking for general surgery, just like their mother.

Meredith pulled her hair back from her face and tied it back. She then moved to close her locker before putting her stethoscope around her neck. "As I'll ever be." She finally replied as she walked towards them.

She knew that neither of them knew what was going on with her, and more so the fact that her mother had told her that she should do right by them and fill them in before they found out from someone else.

The both moved out of the way to let Meredith out of the room. Neither of them were sure what they wanted to do, and if they could make her talk.

Lexie and Addie both followed Meredith away from the room and towards the nurses' station where Meredith was going to wait until she was paged by Derek. He had text her earlier about needing to see her before she started.

She was trying her best to ignore her sisters, both were hovering over her. She hated when hey hovered, they had gotten that from Thatcher and she hated him too.

"3" A voice broke through the rest of the hospital noise and Meredith turned to see a sharp faced Asian woman walking towards them.

Meredith then looked around to see who she could possibly be talking to, only to see Lexie grimacing slightly.

Meredith arched her eyebrow at her before turning back to the woman coming towards them.

"I'm sorry Dr Hunt, but its Grey, Dr Grey." Lexie said timidly and Meredith groaned at her weakness.

"3" The young Asian woman said as she came to a stop in front of them, looking at Lexie with a screwed up defiant face. "I do believe that I have put you on the new resident's service, I suggest you go find her now."

Meredith's interest quirked at this and she moved slightly to semi block Lex from this woman in front of them.

"Do you have small people's syndrome?" Meredith asked her as she eyed the woman carefully.

"Excuse me?" she replied.

"I asked you whether you have small people's syndrome" Meredith re-iterated.

"You see, for a tiny woman you sure do have rather big boots, now it's either that you have popped out of those boots and you think that's a great thing, or you have lost them on the way here. Which is it?" Meredith asked.

Lexie tried not to giggle from where she was hiding behind Meredith.

"Your Doctor here is called Dr Alexandra Grey. I suggest you use her name." Meredith told her.

The lady looked up at her with a scrutinising look.

"Who do you think you are?" the woman finally spoke up.

"My name is Dr Sloan." Meredith said pointedly "and I am the new attending, not resident, and I would expect you to address me as that." Meredith bit. "And by the way Doctor... Hunt." Meredith said moments after reading the woman's badge. "If you want to scrub in alongside me." Meredith continued, "You are going to have to learn all of your colleague's names. Not only does it show that you at the moment have a lack of respect for them," she stated, "but I assure you, I will not be called a number."

Meredith watched as the Doctor stepped back looking like a small child who had been scolded.

Meredith looked at her expectantly but got nothing from her, and soon Meredith watched her shuffle away.

She then turned to Lexie, completely ignoring the amused look on her face.

"Do not ever let another Doctor speak to you like that again, or disrespect you by not using your title." Meredith told her.

Meredith then turned to Addie, briefly pausing to look at Lexie before focusing on her older sister again. "Why haven't you said something to that woman before?" she asked.

Addie let out a sigh as she considered the look on her sister's face.

"It's work Meredith, here Lexie isn't my sister. It would be bias." She advised.

Meredith scoffed at the suggestion. "You're her boss. You have a voice." She snapped. She then turned to leave before looking down at her pager. "I've got to go see the Chief, I'll page you Lex."

Lexie nodded and moved off in the direction of the pit. Meredith shook her head at Addie before continuing to her destination. Derek's office.


	14. Chapter 14

Mark moved towards the hospital. He had heard from Addie that Meredith was startin work today, and if she was correct then he knew that she would bi in the middle of he shift, and quite possibly in surgery.

He had turned on his phone to see that he had missed several calls from her and he kicked himself because he had turned it off when he had made the drive out here ecause he didnt want any distractions as he gathered his thoughts as to how he was going to get his wife back.

He moved through the busy entrance and towards the elevator. He didnt know where he needed to go o find her, or even to find Derek so he could face him in person.

The elevatorwas busy, and the moment the doors opened he knew that he should have taken the stairs. Reluctantly he pushed his way into the elevator. He found a vacant spot in the back corner and stood there quietly, already hating the looks he was getting from te women who had also stepped on board.

Closing his eyes he pinched his nose and took a deep breath. He didnt want to be ogled. He just wanted his wife back.

The elevator stopped at the 3rd floor and a few people stepped off.

Mark couldnt help but feel relieved that he had a little more room to move, but it couldnt stop the nerves that were over taking him. He didnt know what he would do if she wouldn't talk to him.

Stepping off the elevator at the surgical floor he moved down the hall, not completely sure where he was going.

He looked up to see that he was approaching the nurses station. He had just reached it and was about to ask a nurse for directions to Dereks office when 2 girls and 2 guys approached and leant on the side of the desk handing their charts back.

"So have you seen the new neuro attending" the young guy with the brown hair and what appeaed to have been baby face feature asked.

Mark moved his head to listen as he knew immediately who they were talking about.

"Hell yeah, she's foxy, and has fire in her belly." the dirty londe haired guy replied with a smug look on his face. "I've already heard that she took Yang down a peg."

Mark watched as the Asian girl scoffed at the thought.

"She's a bitch" the long blonde haired bimbo chipped in, and Mark smirked at how they were unknowingly were talking about his wife in front of him.

"Definitely" the asian girl replied with a snap. "She lectured me for calling a junior resident a number, i mean who gives a stuff if the resident is Ellis Greys daughter. Gees, Shepherd doesnt say anything and she is Greys sister."

Mark couldnt help but chuckle at the fact that the residents didnt know the connection between the 3 doctors that they had just mentioned.

"She drilled you." The blonde guy said happily.

"Shut it evil spawn." The asian girl snapped as she shot him a glare. "and its not yang its hunt. Besides its not like she's permanent here."

"Not yet anyways" the blonde girl replied.

"Maybe the chief is trying to woo her." the brown hair guy suggested.

Mark watched as they all paused in thought. He took now as an ultimate time to ask them a question.

Excuse me" he said, earning himself a glare from the group. "I was wondering if one of you could possibly page the chief here."

They continued to stare at him in an odd fashion. Mark watched as the blonde haired girl bit her lip and her eyes looked him voer.

"and who are you?" the asian girl asked as she raised her eye brows at him.

"His brother" Mark was quick to reply with a smile.

They all seemed to look at him in shock before the brown haired guy pulled out his pager.

Mark hand slowly moved to the ring on his finger, beginning to toy with it. He hated that the girls were still staring at him.

There was a time when he had embraced it, lapping up all the attention he could possibly get, but now he only wanted one woman, and a week ago she had walked out of his life.

"Mark?" came a voice from behing him, and he turned just in time to catch an excited Lexie who had thrown herself at him.

"Sexie Lexie." he said with a chuckle as he spun around with her in his arms beforeputting her back down on her feet.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a big grin.

"Like you even have to ask." he replied softly.

Lexie sighed and looked back to where she had come from. Marks eyes followed her gaze to see Meredith standing their frozen Her eyes were focues on him.

Meredith couldnt move it didnt matter how much she wanted to run because he was here, and him coming after her had meant things, really big things.

Mark watched her closely. He could tell that she was vulnerable, and yet, she stayed. She wasnt running from him and that could possibly be a good sign, but Mark wasnt sure because she had left him, and that ultimately was a bad thing, a heart breaking thing. He wanted to show her that she couldnt move beyond him because they were made for each other or something like that. He couldn't face the fact that things could really be over.

He could feel her eyes drop away from him, as she began to chew her bottom lip.

He had never really seen her so nervous or at a loss of what to do.

Meredith took a step forward before faltering again. Her mothers words were whirling in her head _ "let him know you need time.. at least he didnt cheat... you will never know if you dont tell him..." _

Mark watched her move with uncertainty. Her steps faltering as she made her way towards him.

He could see where she wanted to be, and as she reached him he opened his arms. He figured by the amount of missed calls he had from her, and the look in her eyes, that she needed him.

Meredith looked at his open arms. He looked welcoming,a nd there was something in his eyes that she hadnt seen before. She wasnt sure whether it was fear or uncertainty but she could see it there as clear as day.

Slipping her arms around his waist, and resting her head upon his chest, she closed her eyes and breathed him in.


	15. Chapter 15

Meredith enjoyed being in the warmth of his arms but she felt bad because she had walked away from him. Pulling away ever o slightly she looked up at him. Their eyes met and she could see the question in his eyes.

"I... I cant" she said softly as the tears welled in her eyes.

Mark felt her pull away further, and before he knew it she was gone. Leaving him to crumble in her wake.

Lexie reached out a hand to rest on his shoulder as he tried to hold back the emotions coursing through his body. "I... I... '" he stammered.

"She's like that with everyone at the moment." Lexie said softly as she tried to console him.

"What a bitch." the blonde girl said from where she stoof bejind Mark. He turned around and gave her an evil glare.

"Shut your mouth." Lexie said as she rushed to her sisters defecnce. "My sister is going through some pretty crazy shit right now and its not your place to judge."

All 4 residents stood back looking shocked.

"Dr Grey" Derek said as he came up behind her.

Lexie turned around and looked at him..." i was just" she started and then stopped.

"My office." he said simply.

"Derek" Mark said with a sigh.

"Mark?" Derek said looking surprised. He had no idea what his brother was doing here but one thing he did know was that he had never seen him looking so broken.

dry your eyes dry your eyes dry your eyes

Meredith had returned to work, even if it was only light work, she still managed to keep busy as she struggled to keep thoughts of him out of her head.

She had been issued light floor work until after her first appointment with her Doctor. Derek had told her that he wanted to make sure things with the baby were going ok before he could give her any cases. Of course that meant that Lexie, her assigned resident, was completely bored and constantly hovering. Not that she knew that Meredith was pregnant.

Meredith had struggled to eat through out the day, finding it difficult to find anything that she could keep down. Her fluids were low because every time she went to have a drink then she needed to pee.

Now as she returned to the locker room to change, having finally ditched Lexie, she took a chance to just sit, and pray to god that she could stomach something when she got home.

She knew that if her mother called on her to make sure that hse was olay, then she wouldnt be happy with her food intake.

Slowly she began to undress, pausing momentarily to consider the changes that were occuring i her body. Even though they were slight, she could notice them. They were obvious to ehr. The anticipation was building with in her. She couldnt wait to be gloriously pregnant. Carrying Marks child had never really been a dream for her, but it had quickly become her reality.

Sighing she moved to slip off the rest of her clothes before putting on her street clothes that she had worn in the morning.

Taking a deep breath Meredith then moved to stand, steadying herself as she leaned against her locker.

Addie watched her from the doorway. After hearing about what happened with Mark earlier she had decided to check on her little sister. Being the oldest meant that she was usually the first to know the secrets or concerns of her younger siblings but things were different with Meredith right now and Addie wasnt sure if there was anyting that she could do to fix it.

"Are you goin to come in?" Meredith finally asked her, having sense herpresence.

She was now looking up at Addie and Addie could see that she was obviously exhausted as well as having the need to rehydrate.

"Tea" Addie said as she slowly entered the room. "I was coming to see if you wanted to have tea with me."

Meredith sighed at the offer. She really couldn't grab tea with ehr. Even though she knew that she needed something to eat, all she wanted right now was to sleep.

"I was just going to go home and order some pizza" Meredith answered with a sigh. "I'm really tired, you know, long day and all that."

Addie sighed. "Yeah and all that."

Meredith pushed off from the locker, stumbling slightly before finding some form of balance.

"Mer are you okay?" Addie asked, her voice full of concern.

"I... I'm fine." she mumbled in response. "Just.... just tired." she justified.

Addie nodded, while her eyes moved to study her closely. "Well how about i give you a ride home then?" she offered. "It wouldnt be wise for you to drive."

Meredith tried to stifle a yawn before shaking her head. "I'm okay Addie really."

Meredith reached for her bag, slipping the handle over her shoulder before moving to walk out of the locker room. "Thanks anyway" she sighed as she pushed past her sister, moving further out of the room, and in the direction of the elevator.

Addie watched Meredith walk away, occassionally using the wall to lean on. Addie couldnt decide whether it was the exhaustion of the dehydration that was causing her to do that but either way, she knew that it could be a deadly combination, especially if Meredith was to decide to drive.


	16. Chapter 16

He felt like a stalker. There was no other way to describe it. But when he had recieed the SOS call from Addie that Meredith wasnt well but was about to head home, he couldn't not come.

Now as he stood off to the side in the hospital foyer he could only wait for Meredithto reach the ground floor.

He had been sitting down in the cafeteria anyway, having hoped that she would venture down there, but she hadnt.

He watched now as the elevator doors slid open and a very exhausted Meredith plodded off. He could see how uneasy she was on her feet and he couldn't help but be concerned.

She paused, clinging on to the rail near the wall. Just long enough to get her balance, and yet long enough for Mark to truly see how unwell she was. She was pale, and he could see that she was obviously tired. Yet he could tell that there was something else going on with her but he wasnt exactly sure what. All he could do was guess that it was the reason she was pushing him away.

They had dealt with a lot of things in the past, there had been some big things, and yes Mark knew that she had a screwed up child hood, but they had discussed everything that had happened with her father, and the implications of her disorder. He thought he had taken away any of her reasons to run and yet she still had managed to. Yes ut was8 years down the track, but he couldnt think of anything he may have done.

Pushing away from where he stood he began to make his way toward sher, hoping that she would at least let him drive her home.

As he got closer he could see her knees shake and her eyes cam up to meet his.

Mark couldnt hide his worried face, especially when he reached her.

She had tears pooling in her eyes, and Mark was not completely sure what was causing them, but he could tell that she was fragile.

Mark reached out to touch her, and culdn't deny that it hurt when she had pulled away.

He studied her closely and he took a step closer again, trapping her body against the wall.

"You cant drive like this Mer, let me drive ou home." he offered as he leaned in to breathe her in.

"I'm not"" she said softly.

"You're not what?" Mark asks as he studies her closely. He can see that Merediths body was changing, even if they were only minute and he knew that he needed for her to open up to him again.

"I'm not driving." she told him as she bit her bottom lip. She then ducked under his arm and began walking the the glass doors which would lead to the carpark.

Mark followed her, reaching for her to get her to turn around and face him.

"What Mark?" she asked through her yawn.

"You cant jut brush me off Meredith. You need to talk to me. I'm not going anywhere until you do." he persisted.

Meredith looked up at his pain fillled eyes and could see his sheer determination.

"Meredith" a voice interrupted and they both turned to see her mother.

Meredith sighs and takes her keys out of her bag outting them in his hand. "follow me home." she murmurs before wlkaing towards her mother, not wanitng to keep her waiting.

....

Ellis looked in the rearview mirror at her dau. She couldnt believe that she had fallen asleep in the back of the car in a similar manner as she had done as a child.

It had been a surprise to walk into the hosptial to see Mark tere. Although she had anticipatd him coming out here, he had come much sooner that she had expected.

She could feel the head lights of Merediths car against the back windscree and knew that Mark was following her closely back to Merediths new house.

One could only assumethat they still hadnt talked, and figured that Meredith had aimed to do so tonight, but y the looks of things, she wouldnt be now.

Turning down the side street that would lead to Merediths house, she knew that she would have to ask Mark to carry her in. She had no idea what to do from she could only assume that it was easier to leave her daughter in the watchful eye of mark.

Pulling int Merediths drive way she then moved to turn the car off as Mark pulled up next to her.

Climbing out of the car she then gestured to Mark, and he moved to the side of the car, opening the door slowly and easing Merediths sleeping form out of the car, before kicking it closed.

Ellis then took Merediths keys from Mark and went and opened the front door switching on the hall way light.

Mark moved into the house, looking around briefly. He then followed Ellis as she had guided him up the stairs past a string of bedrooms and into the end bedroom. Mark moved forward and placed Meredith down on the bed before removin her shoes. He looked up at Ellis, who gestured for him to follow he out into the hall, where he then followed her down to the front door.

Ellis looked up at the one man that she could rely on to take good care of her daughter, and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Take care of my girl and make sure she eats when she wakes."

Mark nodded, looking at her uncertainly. She just smiled one more time before walking out the door and leaving him to take care of meredith.


	17. Chapter 17

Mark didnt know what to do, so he quietly looked around the house that Meredith had bought.

One of the few things that he noticed as he walked around the bottom floor, was that she had very little furniture. It seemed she had only acquired the basics. He didnt know why this made him feel good, but in a way it gave him hope.

Moving to the top level he began to look in each of the rooms. It seemed to him that all of the rooms that he had seen so far were empty, although that was a grand total of 2 and he expected the third to be the same. it could be said the absence of furniture was peaking his interest. However, the 3rd bedroom, the one next to Merediths room, shocked him.

Inside the room Mark paused and took it in. He noticed the blue carpet, the gorgeous pale yellow walls and what intrigued him the most was the white cot in the middle of the room.

Mark looked at it confused, until he moved towards it and read the lettering across the top. "Baby Sloan."

Mark at first smiled at the though of tracing his fingers over the lettering. He had never wanted children, but that was before Meredith.

After when they married, he had considered bringing the topic up, but he knew it was a sensitive topic for her, especially with Merediths childhood. She herself had said that she couldnt imagine having children so he had never thought about it.

Closing his eyes he tried to imagine what she would look like pregnant, wondering what her cravings would be. Smiling at the thought of her fuller figure and the swollen belly.

He couldnt imagine why Meredith would hav a cot in a room of her house, especially a brand new cot that had the inscription baby sloan. He really wanted to know what this meant. Was Meredith possibly pregnant and if yes then why hadnt she told him about it. Why did she move to the otherside of the country.

......

Mark backed out of the room slowly. He didnt exactly know what to think and yet he knew that he would need to talk to Meredith either way. He needed answers to his questions and he needed them now.

His head was a whirlpool of emotion. He was scared that she would never come back to him. He was still hurt from her leaving, frustrated because he needed answers and angry about the possibility of what was being kept from him.

He walked into Merediths room and sat down on the edge of the bed placing his head in his hands. He needed for her to be awake , but he knew, and he had been ableto tell from the moment that she had stepped off of the elevator that she really needed to catch up on sleep.

Fatigue was an early stage of the pregnancy, whih he knew would normally last for the first trimester. He could be sure whether what Meredith was experiencing was fatigue dure to pregnancy hormones, but if he could bring his nads up to wander over her sleeping body, then he was sure that he could be ablt to tell if she was or not.

It didnt matter though, they were a thousand ways to look at things, and find the exact things that they would need.

Mark istened to Meredith stir and looked behind him.

Merediths shirt had rode up to sit just bellow her breast, exposing the creamy white flesh

Mark couldnt help but remember the feel of it, not only against him, but underneath him. He liked running his hands ovr her smooth skin and knowing that every inch of her was his. That every part of her body was his pleasure.

Closing his eyes as he felt his manhood rise, he knew that he needed some sort of release, not only from the pressure building up in his pants, but also from the emotion that continued to bubble with in him.

Looking over at Meredith, he had so many desires, but knw that there was not anything he could do to act on the,. They still needed to talk and everythng else would just have to wait.

Shifting awkwardly on the edge of the bed, he didnt know if he could continue sitting there without touvhing her.

It had been over a week since they had made love, and even then it had been missing something. That something had been missing for months though and even though he had tried to ignore the feeling, he couldnt. All he knew was that one day she had come hom from work and started acting different towards him. In turn, he himself had tried to bury himself into his work.

He still didnt know what to thinl about the whole coming home from work to find her ready to leave.

His shoulders shook with every thought and every memory. Soon he was unable to hold back his emotions, finally letting everything out as the tears he cried began to streak his cheeks. Sliding off of the bed, he pulled his knees to his chest and cried for the loss of his marriage.

.......

Meredith awoke feeling queasy. She knew that she needed to have something to eat. All she had in the fridge was left over grilled cheese and as hungry as she was, she knew that she couldnt stomach it. She knew that it would just come back up.

Rolling over she moved to sit up, and as she did she rested her hand on her stomach, caressing it carefully.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Mark asked from where he stood by the door. He had a coffee in one hand as he watched her carefully.

"Mark" Meredith said looking shocked and she had to take a moment to think.

"and im the only one who doesnt know because El obviously does, and i'm guessin addie isnt too stupid, after all it is the field that she works in. And derek, well that would be why he was walking on egg shells aound me. Which is greatfor my own brother to feel that way."

Meredith whimpered hating that he was attacking her. It also didnt help that he was keeping a calm voice.

"Were you ever going to tell me about it, or was the plan to run to Seattle and for me to not put up a fight?" Mark asked.

"Mark" Meredith whimpered. "i...."

"How long have you known that you were pregnant?" he asked.

Meredith closed her eyes, tears escaping her as they slid down the side of her face.

"I want answers Meredith" Mark said as he began to move into the room, "and i wont leave until i get them."

"The practice" Meredith said as she grasped for straws. She didnt want to talk to him about this now, she still needed time.

"I've signed it all over to Liam. There is no practice." he told her. "It means nothing without you."

Meredith didnt know what to say to him, she hadnt expected to hear that he sold the practice, the one he had pretty much built.

Mark moved to sit down on the side of the bed. "I've been waiting for 3 months for you to talk to me but you havent." he then turned to look at her carefully. His voice softening further. "Mer, we dont run."

.........

Mark slowly moved to lay down on the bed beside her. He didnt touch her, no matter how much he had wanted to. He was wracked with uncertainty. He had no idea where this was going or possibly how this was going to end.

"Mark" Meredith said quietly.

Mark turned slightly to face her, anticipating what she was going to say next.

"I need to have something to eat." she said quietly.

Mark first looked at her confused before remembering what Ellis had told him.

Clearing his throat he then pulled his phone from hs pocket and checked the time. "It's 11' he said in reply, and then tried to think of what he could feed her.

"Pizza" Meredith murmured. "They still deliver."

Sighing slightly he dialed the only pizza number he knew and ordered a Party Pizza.

Moving to put his phone away he grunted a "20 minutes" to her.

Meredith nodded and both laid back on the bed again and closed their eyes.

Mark was waiting for her to tlak and he was willing to wait as long as he needed.

Meredith on the other hand was ondering where she could start, how much she could or should tell him.

Running her fingers over her stomach, she slowly turned her head to face him.

"You remember how i told you about Dad." she said quietly, scared by what she was about to tell him. "About him taking his anger out on me?"

Mark turned on his side to look at her. He nodded slightly urging her to continue.

'I....I had a patient" she said as she shifted, hating what she was about to reveal. "who was a lot like me, but worse." Taking a deep breath before swallowing a lump in her throat. "I couldnt save her." she murmured as a tear escaped her. "I couldnt, i cant ... i still.." she said before shaking her head. "I need you..." she murmured, "but i cant."

"Oh Mer" Mark sighed. He didnt know what to think of it. He could remember so well the first night Meredith opened up to him. He felt that it had taken a lot for her to do so.

flashback:

"Since we're, you know" Meredith said, her naked body pressed up against his, "and we've..." she said, and Mark looked at her patiently. "I... I just want you to know that you could never ... you could never hurt me... not physically anyway."

Mark looked at her confused.

"I... you should know that... but... and its not that i think you will... but dont abuse it."

"Mer babe, what are you talking about?" Mark asked not able to hide his confusion.

"I'm 'congenitally insensitivity to pain' she told him. "You ... you're a Doctor... you should know it."

Mark nodded, he knew about the disorder. He had never known anyone with it, but he had read papers on it.

"I still cant believe your dad did that to you." Mark said as he pulled her closer.

Meredith melted into his touch.

"Your heads been in the dark." he murmured as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I understand that mer, i do." he said as he pulled back slightly and looked down at her, "but why run from me? From us?"

Meredith closed her eyes, and buried herself in his chest aain. "You stopped coming home."

"I... i thought you didnt... i dont know..." Mark said. "I came home from work one day... and you'd changed." he told her "and i dont know... but..." he said with a sih.

"You were giving me time?" Meredith asked nervously, and Mark nodded.

"I thought you would talk to me when you were ready. I didnt think you would run from me ... from us."

Meredith felt him shake slightly and her grip on his chest tightened.

They heard the door bell ring a moment later, and it took everthing within Mark to pull away. "Come downstairs and have something to eat Mer." he murmured, "and then we can talk about the baby."

Meredith nodded slightly, easing further away from Mark and wiping the tears from her eyes. She knew that she couldnt run anymore. Now she knew that she just had to face everything she's worked so hard for, and hope that he was willing to forgive her mistakes.

.....................

Mark stood with his hands bracing the bench. He couldnt look at Meredith. Her words still echoing in his head. "I was never going to tell you."

There was a mix of anger and hurt churning through him.

"I..." Meredith tried to argue.

"Dont" Mark said, not being able to control his anger. "Did you really think you could keep this from me?" he asked. The fire now in his eyes. "You were going to put my brother in a position where he had to lie to me."

"No" Meredith said, pain ripping through her.

"What the fuck were you doing?" he asked.

"I..." she started. "It wasnt like that."

"Well enlighten me Meredith." he all but yelled.

Meredith looked up at him from where she sat by the table. "At first i... when i found out... you never wanted kids."

Mark couldnt believe what he was hearing. "I did" he said as he eyes filled with hurt. "But when you told me you didnt want them, statig that you feared that they would have what you have... i understood. I said i didnt because there was a time... a time before you that i didnt." he said as he looked at her, "but when i fell in love with you, when i watched you walk down the aisle, i considered, i wanted it, but i wanted you more so... if i couldnt have that, because you didnt want that... and you were enough for me. You were more than enough for me."

Meredith closed her eyes. She couldnt stand to see the hurt in his eyes. Further tears built in her eyes. "Oh God" she gasped. She had no idea that Mark had felt that way. No idea that he had wanted this.

"How long have you known?" Mark asked his voice calmer than before . The hurt was still evident.

Meredith reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes. She couldn't tell him. He would hate her for sure. That's if he didnt already. "Mark I..."

Mark closed his eyes. He knew that they were both too emotional for this, but he needed answers. "How long?" he repeated.

"I..." she started before she looked him over. Her eyes rested on his wedding ring. She knew that she needed to be completely honest with him

"I woke up ne morning and i felt... i felt strange... i had a feeling... i took a test because i was worried..." she said as she tried to think back to the day that she had been wanting to forget.

"How long ago?" Mark asked again.

"3 months" she murmured.

Mark had heard enough. He was quite sure of that. Not even bothering to look at Meredith he grabbed his jacket and began to leave.

"Mark" Meredith said. She was shocked that he was walking away from her.

"3 months was all he said as he walked to the door.

Meredith got up to follow him. He hadnt heard her out.

"3 months." he said again as he walked out the door, and into the Seattle night.

Meredith followed him not caring about a coat.

"Mark" she called again. On realising that he wasnt going to stop she cried. "It was negative, the test was negative."

Mark stopped where he was frozen by her words.

"The test was negative." she repeated. "and it made me feel empty."

Mark turned slowly to face Meredith.

"It made me feel so empty." sje said nervously, "and i didnt tell you because... because that was the day that Jamie came in."

"Jamie?" Mark said as he repeated the name two more times before figuring that she must have been the person to send her to her dark place.

Mark moved slowly back towards Meedith stopping directly in front of her.

"So how long have you known?" he asked with a sense of finalitly.

"2 weeks " Meredith croaked. "When you stopped coming home, and you were taking more surgeres... i... i thought that i had pushed you too far away." she murmured looking down at her feet. "I had... i just... i came out here trying to accept the end.... needing mom... i've never... and .... i need you... i do... and i've tried... to call you." she finished.

"I noticed." Mark murmured.

"I just... i know i shouldnt have... and i do need... i just... time." she sighed.

"You need some time?" Mark murmured as he followed what she was saying.

Meredith nodded, still yet to lok up.

"Mer" Mark said quietly, usin his forefinger to ilt her head up.

Her eyes connected with his briefly as his thumb stroked her cheek.

"I love you so much." he told her quietly. "You can have your time." he added "just no more runnin."

Meredith looked up at him.

"Okay?" he asked.

Meredith bit her lip but still nodded.

"You can never push me away." he said as he dipped his head to kiss her.

Meredith sighed as she felt lips against hers.

Mark kept it brief, because he knew if he deepened the kiss ten he would not be able to return to the hotel.

Mark pulled away before reading into his pocket, handing Meredith her rings.

"These need to be back where they belong." he murmured, and was relieved when Meredith slid them on her finger.

Meredith felt Mark pull her against him and she felt comfort in his arms.

"How far along are you?" he asked as he rested his head against hers.

He felt Meredith shrug.

"We'll find out tomorrow." he told her.

Meredith just closed her eyes and buried herself frther into his arms.

"I should go." he told her, waning to give her space, and knowing that she should sleep.

"Please dont" Meredith murmured. "Just... just for tonight... could you... could you hold me?"

Mark nodded relieved to have this little opening.

"Ok" he said before gesturing for Meredith to get back inside.

.........


	18. Chapter 18

His hands came down at her, balled in fists. She cowered away from him, curling herself up into a ball as she tried to protect her body.

She knew that damage that could be done to her, even if she couldn't feel it. "You broke us, you changed everything." her father bellowed down at her as he swung his boot at her stomach.

She pulled her knees in tighter, hoping to give herself further protection as the force of his boot had her rolling over.

Her mother had given her books which could explain the injuries that could occur to her and her body, and at the age of 12, she understood it all.

Turning her head away from him, she couldnt stand the look of hatred on his face.

Her eyes met that of Lexie and Molly's and she could only hope that they would be too young to remember.

"Thatcher, enough" she heard Susan say before she felt her fahers boot hit her head and everything went black.

Her heart was racing when she opened her eyes and she was gasping for air as her body shook with the emotion from reliving the moment

She could feel Marks arms around her and while she usually found comfort in them they felt like they were restricting her, and she had no idea why.

Easing herself out of his arms she moved quickly out of the bed and towards the bathroom, in which, on entering she closed the door and turned on the light.

The glare from the lights, made her eyes blurry, and she thanked god for the reminder that she was alive.

She moved to the put some water in the small glass that she ha sitting on the bench. She took a small gulp and she tried hard to calm her breathing.

She hated the dreams that she had been having. She had been having them for a while now, and sometimes they were worse than others, but they generally had a similar sequence. Always her father beating her and then things going black after Susan told him he had done enough.

Moving to lay down on the cool tiles, she hoped that they will help soothe her.

"Mer" she heard Mark mumble before the door to the bathroom opened. "You okay?"

Meredith looked up at him. She had a hand resting on her chest. "Nightmare" she finally murmured. She had considered lying to him, but knew that she owed him the truth.

"Come on , come back to bed" Mark said as he dipped down and scooped her back up in his arms. "I'll chase them away." he added.

Meredith closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. SHe truly wished he could chase them away, but didnt exactly know how.

Mark hadnt asked any questions about her nightmare. The look on her face and the fact that her skin felt clammy had said it all. He knew that ifhe had asked her about it she wouldnt answer. She still needed time.

She had been curled up in the feotal position when he awoke. There was evidence of tears that she must have cried. She had appeared to have been shaking which, when he moved to wake her from whatever dream she had been having, that he had given her a fright, which had caused her stomach to lurch and sent her scampering to the bathroom.

Now as he entered the hospital with Meredith. He couldnt shake the worry that sat in the pit of his stomach. He had wanted to call Addie this morning about getting her an official check up, but Meredith had frantically shaken her head claiming that she needed to talk to all of her sisters first.

Mark had shaken his head. He had never understood how Merediths family worked but it seemed that if one of the sisters was going to be told something by on of the others, the other two needed to hear it too.

One thing Meredith had agreed with was the need to sign contracts with Derek. She had told him that since he no longer had the practice to go home to, and that she needed and wanted to be closer to her mom right now, then he should ask Derek for a job too.

Mark tentatively walked her to the locker room and gave her a small kiss. He then told her to call him if she needed him. Meredith had rolled her eyes, but Mark knew that she would.

Leaving Meredith to change he moved off towards Derek. It felt good knowing that Meredith still loved him, even if she did needspace. He was going to be a dad and that was something he had never thought would happen, and now just the knowledge that there was a crib in a spare room where Meredith was with Baby Sloan inscribed on it kept the smile on his face.


	19. Chapter 19

Addie was sweaty, her hair matted against her forehead as she began to button up her blouse.

"Not that i'm complaining." She said as she moved to kiss her husband, "because we haven't had it for... i don't know how long..." she said "but where did that come from?"

Derek smiled as he pushed her hair back from her face. "It's been too long." He said as he leaned in to kiss her again. 'I've missed you."

Addie looked at him carefully "Maybe you should come home more." She said quietly.

Derek sighed. He knew that he had spent a lot of time at work. He ran his hands down her still naked thigh. He was standing there in only his pants. "I know babe, i'm sorry." He said as he pulled her closer to him. "Things have been on top of me since i took this position from Richard." He admitted. "but things are settling down now." He said as he moved to kiss her again.

Addie ran her hands through Dereks hair. "So you'll be home?" she asked as she leaned forward and bit his bottom lip.

Derek groaned as his need for his wife grew. "Yes" he murmured as his hands slid up her top.

Addie leaned into Derek. "Der" she said almost shyly.

"Hmmm" he moaned as his head moved to nuzzle her neck.

"I've missed you too." She said quietly before pulling his head up to meet hers.

They kissed again and Derek began undoing her buttons on her blouse again.

Addie's phone beeped in her bag as Derek slipped his tongue into her mouth.

Derek had managed to get her blouse undone when there was a knock on the door. He groaned slightly but chose to ignore it when the door opened.

......................................

Of all the things Mark had expected to walk in on, that had definitely been the last. He stood there and watched as Addie quickly pulled her blouse closed.

It had been a while since he had seen Addie naked, or even partially naked, and while he knew that she had always had a hot body, it had never been exposed to him like this.

"Mark get the fuck out." Derek ordered as he walked towards him, giving him a shove.

"Woah dude." Mark said with a grin. "you should have locked the door."

The door closed in Mark face and he couldn't help but chuckle. It was good to see that his brother was getting back to being the man he used to be.

A long wait. Thats what it was feeling like. Meredith stood in the exam room waiting for Addie and Lexie. Molly stood next to her, holding her hand. "So yo're okay?" Molly asked, looking at her nervously.

"Yeah" Meredith said as she smiled slightly.

"Then why are we in an exam room waiting for addie and lex?" Molly asked.

"Privacy" was all Meredith could say as her phone buzzed.

Pulling out her phone, she couldnt help but smile at the message she had recieved.

ADDIE AND DER ARE HOT  
BABY BUMP BEAUTY  
MEET YOU T LUNCH  
ME FOR DESSERT.

"Mark?" Molly asked looking hopeful.

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she began typing back.

LETTING CAT OUT OF BAG  
SCANNING CAT SOON  
WILL BUZZ U

Meredith slipped her hone away just as Addie and Lexie walked in.

"You and your husband have terrible timing." Addie groaned as she put her hair up in a bun.

Meredith giggled. "I'm guessing the door wasnt locked."

Addie groaned at Meredith causing her to giggle.

"Well aren't you the polar opposite." Lexie commented.

"I'm guessing you've talked to Mark." Addie chipped "because the look on his face says you have."

"And the look on yours says that you got laid and then got caught." Molly rounded with a rin.

Meredith looked around at her sisters quickly and shook her head.

"Why are we here?" Lexie asked after a moment. She then turned to Meredith "You paged?"

"Yeah, yeah i did." Meredith said quietly, her nerves coming back as all eyes focused on her.

"Well.. ummmm...." Meredith starts but then stops. "aahhhhh... i'm... pregnant." she finally gets out.

Addie nods, Molly moves to hug her while Lexie stands back quietly.

"You left Mark because you were pregnant?" she asked.

Meredith shook her head. "No i left Mark because i thought i had pushed him far enough away that there was nothing left to salvage." Meredith said quietly. "I left because i was scared, am scared, and i needed my family.

Lexie scoffed slightly thinking that she was being a drama queen until she noticed something in Merediths eyes.

"What happened?" she asked as shetook a step towards Meredith, but Meredith took another step back.

"My past" Meredith murmured before turning back to look at Addie hoping that she wasnt going to press her further.

"Scans?" Addie asked, hoping to deter Lexie, figuring that Meredith would tell her when she was ready.

"Please" Meredith said with a sigh before moving out of the room. She knew that they needed to head up to the OB FLOOR to make this official. She paged Mark on her way.

Lexie and Molly waited outside the room. Meredith knew that both of them would have prefered to have been in there, as it was, Addie had argued with them to keep them out.

Now, as Mark held her hand, and Addie moved the dopler across Merediths stomach, meredith was glad that her sisters were waiting outside. This was a big moment for her and Mark, and she knew that Addie truly appreciated that, and understood the weight f the moment. Especially if she had managed to work out what was bothering her.

"You look to be at around 8 weeks mer." Addie told her. "More towards the beginning of your 9th week. So you're roughly due around the ned of October."

"Just in time for christmas." Mark murmured and Addie nodded.

"Heart beats strong." Addie said as she continued, flipping on the sound so Meredith and Mark could hear it.

Meredith lifted her eyes to meet Marks, not able to believe that it was their babies heart beat

"Okay" Addie said as she flipped the screen off and began to wipe Merediths stomach down. "You need to rest. Dont push yourself too hard and i dont want another repeat of yesterday. You could have really hurt yourself, or the baby."

Meredith looked up in surprise.

"Just because you didnt tell me doesnt mean i didnt suspect it. Gee's Mer, all i had to do was look at you." Addie explained.

"But you didnt say anything." Meredth said as Mark took the tissue from Addie and finished her job.

Addie shrugged. "Figured you'd end up saying something." she replied.

Meredith nodded and looked up at Mark. "Lunch?" she asked nervously.

Mark stepped back and nodded.

Moving to sit up, Meredith pushed her shirt down before taking the picture from Addie. "You coming ?" she asked.

Addie looked at Mark who nodded, and she inturn nodded to Meredith.

For now Mark was willing to share.

.......................

Meredith couldnt believe how incredibly awkward it was to be sitting with her sisters and Mark eating lunch.

They had invited Derek down but he claimed to have a surgery, while Mark simply insisted that he was too worn out and embarrassed to show his face down in the cafeteria.

Of course, Meredith, molly and lexie had chuckled at Marks antics while Addie blushed.

Meredith enjoyed this time, loving that the attention wasn't on her. Only problem was, and Meredith knew well, it wouldnt last. It wouldnt be too long before one of her sisters would turn the conversation back on her.

Lexie had been watching Meredith and Mark carefully. She really wanted the true story about what was going on between them. She had spoken to Molly about the possibilities, but there was only one thing that sh could think of that may have upset Meredith. She had stated something about her past, and what she knew would be cruel. Of course Molly wouldnt remember it, even if she was only two years younger than her. That was one thing she was sure of. But Lexie could see it all as if it was only yesterday. She could only piece together photographs in her mind. Stilled images of moments that her mother had wanted her to forget. The beauty of a photographic memory was that things could never really be forgotten, they are stored away for the rainy day, even if there are somethings that we just dont want to remember.

Meredith can see the look on Lexies face and cant help worrying about what she was thinking. "earth to lexie." she said as she tried to gain her attentiom.

Lexie finally snapped out of it. Looking briefly at Meredith before looking back down at her food.

"What was that?' Molly asked, feeling like she was missing something.

"Meredith taking a beating for us." she thought before shaking her head. "Just lost in thought." she murmured before looking up at Meredith again.

Meredith shook her head. She could see in her eyes exactly what she was thinking about. She just hoped that she wouldnt say anything. After all, there were something that Molly just didnt need to know.


	20. Chapter 20

Mark had been surprised at how quick they had set themselves a routine. Both would work during the day, and then eat their dinner together. After dinner there would be tears as Meredith would kiss him good night, split between wanting to be in his arms and whatever was going on in her head.

Every morning he would meet her in the parking lot and they would walk in together. Except this morning, as he stood in the middle waiting for her, she was yet to arrive. He looked at his watch and could see that she was running late.

It wasnt normal for Meredith to be late, if anything, she was normally early. Letting out a sigh of frustration, knowing that if she would let him move in then he'd know what was wrong, he pulled out his phone and dialled the number he has known forever.

Pressing the phone hard against her ear he listened to it ring out.

Crazy thoughts began to whirl through his head. He couldnt control it. After last time when she had packed up and left, he wasnt sure what to expect.

Closing his phone he again scanned the lot. There was no sign of her. He knew that she'd have the bluetooth on in the car if she was driving.

He couldnt shake the feeling that there was something wrong. That she was hurt, or that something had happened. Like he knew that something had gone wrong.

Flipping his phone open again he decided to call Derek. He needed to let him know that he was going to go look for Meredith. He just knew that something was wrong.

"Go to her." Derek urged him and Mark knew that he shouldnt hesitate, God only knew what was going on with her.

Tears streamed down Merediths cheeks as she covered her stomach, hoping to protect it. Se could hear the sirens in the distance and knew that someone had called it for her.

She could feel the blood running down her face from where she had hit her head on the window. The impact had rocked the car massively and she could see that part of the car had crumbled, but that had been expected.

Reaching for her car door, she fought to get it open and when she did, she pushed it out.

She could see someone moving towards her, the face familiar, but not registering.

"Are you okay?" the person asked and Meredith shook her head.

Meredith reached to unbuckle her seat belt, one hand still resting on her stomach.

"Does your stomach hurt?" the person asked and Meredith shook her head.

"Pregnant" she murmured as she wiped her tears away.

"Oh" the person said as she then moved out of the way.

Meredith closes her eyes as she hears the person call, "please help her, she's pregnant."

Meredith hears the footsteps, and when she opens her eyes a paramedic is standing their.

"Mam, are you in pain?" he asked and Meredith shakes her head.

She closes her eyes again. "Need to get to Grace." she tells him. "Call Chief... Shep.. Shepherd.... need Shepherd and Shepherd." she stammers.

The paramedic looks her over quickly and can see that she has a head injury as well as an obviously broken leg.

"Aer you sure you cant feel any pain?" he asked her and she could see the concern on his face.

"Can't" she murmured moving to shake her head again. 'Never.. never have." she added.

The paramedic looked at her as if she was crazy. "Please Grace, Shepherd and Shep" she murmured.

"I'll do what i can." he told her, "just stay with me mam." he said.

"Sloan" she told him. "Doc... doctor Sloan."

"You want Dr Sloan?" he asked as he gestured to his buddy for the stretcher.

"No me." she said as she closed her eyes. "Me sloan."

......................

Mark had gone to the house but had found that Merediths car was gone. Everything had looked okay, and yet it appeared as though she had been in a rush.

Flipping open his phone he quickly called Ellis. He knew that there was no reason for her to be not at work yet. He knew that he hadnt passed her on the road. Although he didnt take the highway as there were reports of an accident which was blocking traffic.

Cringing at the thought that Meredith was possibly stuck behind that, or possibly involved, he hoped that Ellis could shine some light on that.

He spoke quickly, wanting nothing more than to find Meredith.

Ellis had been apologetic, stating that she hadnt heard from her, but had promised that she would call if she heard from her.

"Patient is Meredith Sloan." The paramedic informed the interns as he made his way into the hospital. "She asked to be brought here. Wants to see the Chief."

"You called through?" Meredith asked groggily, and the paramedic nodded.

"What have we got?" she heard Derek ask as he gestured for the interns to move out of his way.

"Meredith Sloan, has an obvious head injury, accompanied by a broken leg. Is still responsive but is refusing pain meds." The paramedic told him.

"Meredith" Derek said in shock as he moved to the top of the stretcher to look at her.

"She's refusing pain meds." the paramedic said again. "She's either running on adrenaline, or has done herself a spinal injury if she cant feel that broken leg."

"You idiot." Derek said as he shoved him out of the way. "She doesnt feel pain." he said as he took control of the stretcher. "Somebody page Sloan now, the He Sloan. Its a 911, and get Shepherd, she's pregnant."

..........................  
Mark had felt his pager vibrate and almost wanted to yell when he saw that it was a 911. Turning his car around, his body filled with dread, as he set out for the hospital.

"Lexie call mom." She heard Addie say as she reached Meredith's side. She gribbed Merediths hand as she looked over the chart. She could see that the other hand rested on her stomach.

"I...I tried to shield her." Meredith murmured, having seen the look on her sisters face.

Addie then looked to see a worried expression on Dereks face.

"Can you do a quick exam. I need to take her for a full work up. I dont want an intern on this so I've called in Yang." He informed her.

"Why Yang Der? She hates Meredith." Addie cringed, not wanting to push himm but knowing how things could get.

"I'll be there the whole time Addie, or until Mark gets here. I also want to get Bailey in on this, especially if she has any internal bleeding." he said.

Addie nodded as she then moved quick to set up the ultrasound machine.

"What happened?" Addie asked Meredith as she watched her slowly close her eyes.

"Come... Came... no where... came out of no where." was all that Meredith could say.

Addie watched her. She was completely scared about the outcome of the scans. She had seen her looking a lot worse than this, but the baby, now there was a baby involved. The baby was new and fresh, and Addie was scared that it could be gone.

Applying the gel, Addie quickly moved the doppler over her sisters stomach. She was praying for a heart beat.

...............................

Mark reached the hospital car park just in time to see Ellis and Richard pull in. The look on Ellis's face was enough to tell him that this was not a social visit. This of course gave a new spin to his 911 page. Running towards her, his face now displayed fear.

"Ellis" he said as he reached her. "What happened?"

Ellis could see that Mark obviously didnt know about the accident, she knew that if he did he wouldnt have wasted time asking questions. He would be inside with her.

'Lexie called, said something about Meredith being in a car accident. Said that Derek and Addie were with her." Ellis said as she watched Marks face drop.

Addie had refused to leave Merediths side. She had even told Derek that she couldnt, so she walked beside Derek and Christina yang, or hunt if we went by her married name, as they transported Meredith down to the MRI machine so they could do the necessary scans.

"Where is she?" Mark asked Lexie when he spotted her, running towards her.

Lexie looked up at him, the tears evident in her eyes. She wished that she had someone that worried about her like he did for her sister.

"scans" Lexie told him. "Addie's with her."

Mark nodded and took off in that direction leaving Ellis and Richard with Lexie.

"Dereks going to page me when he has an update." Lexie told them as she felt Richard put his arms around her.

"and the baby?" Ellis asked, her stomach filled with dread.

"Addie didnt say." Lexie said quietly as she looked up at her mother. "none of them will tell me anything,"

Ellis sighed, she could see that her daughter was upset, but oblivious to the fact that even during this horrific time, her older sister was trying to protect her.

"I'm sure she will tell us soon." Ellis said, hoping to ease the worry.

...............................

"How i she?" Mark asked as he entered the room looking at the computer screen that Derek sat in front of.

"She had a pretty big bump on her head, but there doesnt appear to be any bleeds." Derek told him.

"No internal bleeding." Bailey told him as she pointed to the screen. "But she's black and blue."

Mark looked to Addie, she was the only one who hadnt said anything.

"The baby?" Mark asked.

"Torres is yet to assess the damage to her leg." Derek tells his brother. "Her leg i obviously broken, we're just not quite sure the severity."

Mark nodded but hadnt really listened. "Addie" he said again. "Please just tell me." he pleaded. "I need to know."

"I" Addie sighed as she then walked away.

Derek sighed as he watched his wife leave the room.

"Shep?" Mark asked.

Derek grabbed the bridge of his nose, pinching it.

"Shep. I love my wife, and this, this is my kid. You know if she has lost the baby we are going to go back wards, please Shep." Mark pleaded, his eyes begging his brother.

"The baby was in distress. Addie' monitoring her." he finally murmured. "She's not out of the woods yet, but Mark, it could have been a lot worse."

..................

Mark had listened to Torres speak about Meredith, only really catching bits and pieces. Altogether he had managed to hear rod, pins and recovery.

Even now, as he listened to the sound of the feotal monitor, he couldnt believe everything that had happened. Meredith lay in front of him asleep while his mind went back over everything he had heard.

The police officers had come in to check on her, having wanted to take a statement about the accident. He had kept his eyes on her the whole time as she fought to maintain consciousness.

That was also when he found out the lengths that she had gone through to keep their baby safe.

"He was driving crazily. I could see him on the otherside. Next thing i know he had jumped the median strip and was coming right at me." she told them.

"and what did you do?" they asked.

"I was trapped. I was surrounded by cars so i did the only thing i could think of." she trailed off.

"and what was that?" the officer asked.

"I pulled my knees up and tried to shield my stomach." she told them.

"You said you were trapped?" they queried.

"It was one of 3 choices . Let the car hit me. Swerve into on coming traffic. Or push myself into another car causing a multiple vehicle accident." she told them.

They had nodded, offered her their well wished and had promised to be in contact again.

Now as he looked over Meredith, taking in the small cuts on her face and body, he couldnt help but be thankful that he had forced her to upgrade her car. If he hadnt, he was sure that their wouldnt be a feotal monitor in the room, in fact he was certain he would have been called to ID her body.

Meredith let out a groan, and as Marks eyes moved up her body, his eyes came to rest onhers.

Merediths hand moved up to shield her eyes, and Mark moved to take the other.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Can you turn it off..." she murmured with a groan.

"What?" he asked worried that she could feel some pain or something.

"The beeping." she groaned again.

Mark sighed in relief. "no" he told her as he moved closer again, pulling her hand from her face. "because that beeping is monitoring our baby." he stated as he leaned in and kissed her forehead, before resting his head against hers.

"She's okay?" Meredith murmured and Mark nodded.

"Our baby is okay?" She asked needing a verbal response.

"He was a little stressed, but Addie's monitoring him. She thinks that he should be fine." he told her as he pulled back slightly and moved a hand to protectively sit on her stomach.

"okay" she said quietly as tears of relief washed down her face. "and me?" she finally asked.

Mark looked her over, he remembered that she had been asleep during Callie's consult. Derek had given her something to sedate her in hopes that her being calm would help calm the baby.

"Surgery" he finally told her. "Your legs screwed Mer. It's going to take sometime, but we'll get there." he promised as he leaned in and kissed her again. This time relieved that she was able to kiss him back. Reassurance laced their kiss.

Meredith couldnt say anything as her hands ran through his hair. She could onle be thankful that she was still there and so was the baby.

...................

It wasnt until Meredith had been taken into surgery and Mark had hid himself in his office that anyone had even bothered asking about the other driver. The information they had recieved had been limited, but all they had been told was that he had been taken to a hospital, and nothing more.

Ellis had been sitting curled up in Richards arms, a petrified look was on her face, she had never liked it when anyone she knew had to go under the knife, and it wasnt the first time that it had been Meredith.

Addie was curled up in the chair next to her, while Lexie, who had also been given the day off, sat beside her.

Molly, had sat across from them, a young Laura held tightly in her arms. She kept looking around, waiting for someone to tell her more about the situation. They hadnt spoken much. They were all too worried about the outcome of the surgery.

Addie had made Dr Isobel Stevens sit in on the surgery to observe the foetal monitor which she knew was a big ask of a fellow, but she couldnt be in there herself.

Molly looked around the room, her eyes settling on a woman who was talking quietly to the nurse at the counter. The woman looked familiar, but Molly couldnt place her.

Soon she began to watch as the woman made her way into the room, watching them in turn.

Molly shifted nervously, and she felt Laura curl further into her.

Ellis felt the awkward presence and turned her face out of her husbands shirt. Her eyes meeting the womans who now sat across from her. Her eyes widened in disbelief, but she was not exactly sure why the person was here, and that only made her frustrated.

"I was told that the family of Meredith Sloan was in here." The woman said nervously, she too had noticed and remembered the woman across from her. "I am hoping she was okay."

Ellis stiffened and sat up. Richard noted the other womans presence, and moved to take Ellis's hand in his and sat up, which caused all of the girls to sit up more.

"What happened?" Ellis asked curiously.

"The car just went crazy, and it crashed through the barrier and into this poor girls car. She told me she was okay, but the nurse just told me she was in surgery." The woman replied.

Ellis's eyes widened. She couldnt believe this was happening again.

"Who..." she asked as she tried to maintain her emotions. "Who was driving."

"Thatch" the woman replied and before Richard could do anything she was up on her feet.

"Mom" Addie cried as she stood up moving to stand in front of her mother who now looked like she was about to rip the other woman to shreds.

"He just cant stop can he." Ellis said as she pushed her daughter out of the way.

The woman looked dumbfounded. "Ellis?"

Molly had clicked when she had heard the names, and the emotions welling in her were not those that were pleasent. She knew that the others didnt think she knew but she did, well some of it anyway.

"It's time for you to leave." Molly said as calmly as she could, not wanting to disturb Laura.

The woman turned to look at her.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"You should leave." she said again.

"But?" the woman said as she looked back around the group. "Meredith Sloan." she said again.

"Is my daughter." Ellis chocked out. "Couldnt he just leave her be."

"But" the woman said as she looked around at the pain stricken faces. "Meredith" she said as she started to piece everything together.

"Leave Susan." Addie muttered as she then wrapped her arms around her mother, tears coming to her eyes as they were to the rest of the family as they realised that Thatcher Grey had unknowningly been the reason for Merediths hospitalization... AGAIN

Mark had heard the news as he walked through the halls on the way to post op to see his wife. His blood boiled and stomach churned with the anger. He had already told the others not to say anything. He didnt really need her to have another set back.

Reaching postop he looked in to see Callie giving Mer a quick once over. He knew that technically he shouldnt be here, but he also knew that they would make a special exception.

Moving into the room, Callie gave him a thumbs up before leaving.

Mark moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He was quick to take her hand, hoping that she knew that he was there waiting for her.

The anesthetic was set to wear off in the next hour and he knew that once it she was conscious, they would move her back to her room.

He had been given pamphlets on the process and the biggest thing that he had been able to see was that it was going to be a long recovery and that it was recommended that the patient see a counselor in regards to the trauma they have experienced.

He knew that it would take a lot to get her to open up but he also knew that this could be a good thing.

Tracing circles on her palm he leant forward and dropped a kiss on her forehead. She looked so peaceful from the shoulders up, but he couldnt deny the fact that she was pretty bruised from there down.

Letting out a sigh, he continues to trace circles on merediths hand as he waited for her to wake up.

......

Ellis stood in the doorway looking in at the one person she hadn't wanted to see for years.

She could see Susan nurturing him, and all it did was make bile rise in her throat.

The man had walked away, just like he had done all those years before, and of course it was Meredith whom he had destroyed yet again.

"You just cant lay off." Ellis said as she moved into the room.

"If she loses this baby it is on you. You hear me. Its on you." she said again, before she felt her husbands arms surround her as he ushered her from the room.

...........................

Meredith had been disorientated when she had woken, yet a sense of relief washed over her when she had felt Mark beside her. If it wasnt for the itchy hospital gown she would be sure that she had been dreaming.

"MMM....Mmmm.... Mark." she sounded, trying to swallow despite the dryness of her throat. "Mmmm" she started again as she squeezed his hand.

Mark murmured and lifted his head. He too looked slightly disorientated. "Mer' he murmured as he sat up, his eyes moving to fix themselve on her. "Mer" he said again, a smile spreading across his face as he realised she was awake.

"You... your awake." he said as he reached up and ran a hand over her bruised cheek.

Meredith leant into his touch, moving her head to kiss his palm.

"How do you feel?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

Meredith tilted her head as she took in the sight in front of her. She studied his worn and weary face, his scruffy hair and concerned eyes. "I feel like crap." she finally tells him.

Mark nods, wishing that just this once there was something he could do to make her feel better.

"How do i look?" she asked, aiming to fulfil an old joke of theirs.

"Beautiful." Mark murmured as he carefully leaned in to kiss her. "You always look beautiful."

Meredith reached her hand up and ran it through his hair. "and the baby?" she finally asked.

"He's calmed down." Mark finally tells her and Meredith turned her head to look at the steady heart rate on the feotal monitor.

"She's okay?" Meredith sighed in relief, a few tears escaping her.

"You did good." Mark murmured as he pulled his pager out and paged Callie to come see Meredith. "You did really good." he said again knowing that he was lucky that she was still there in his arms.

.................


	21. Chapter 21

Ellis had been relieved when Callie had told her that the surgery had gone well and that it was just donw to the waiting game for when she would wake.

She knew that the next few steps were going to be hard and normally were painful. She had thanked God everyday that Meredith wasnt subjected to feeling pain. She didnt have to worry about the tears that would normally come during the frivolous attempts to use her leg as the pain ripped through her, she only had to worry that her daughter wouldnt give herself adequate time to let her body heal, and would try walking on her leg long before her body was prepared.

Ellis looked at her two youngest daughters as they both sat talking quietly. It was obvious that both girls were tired and Molly was confused because she had witnessed her abusing Thatcher.

It wasnt often that Ellis would break down, in fact the last time that she truly could remember doing so was when Meredith was much younger, and that too had been caused by Thatcher Grey.

Ellis could remember everything leading up to that moment, and pretty much everything that had followed. She had suspected that something was happening when all the girls went to stay with Thatcher. Addie and Meredith would come home quiet, and would make the younger two go straight to their rooms.

She had spotted the bruises one morning when she had walked in on Meredith changing. She hadnt done it very often, but it occassionally happened.

Merediths 12 year old self was changing in the bathroom as Addie was busy studying in their shared room.

Ellis can still remember scanning Merediths body, and noticing the bruises on her stomach and thighs. She wouldnt normally have seen this as Merediths would wear jeans and sweatshirts.

When she had asked Meredith about the bruises she had stated that the girls soccer game had gotten rough and that she should see the other girl.

She had nodded her head, not quite believing her story. There had been something about the story that had just not seemed right.

There were a few times later that she had kicked herself for not asking Addison. She had wanted to, but whenever anyone mentioned their father the girls would shut off and mumbled that it was okay.

The night Meredith was wheeled into the ER was still painted in her mind. She could see the blood coming from her daughters mouth, the cuts on her cheek bone, the broken arm, and when she had pulled up the shirt, the giant bruises that were forming.

She could still hear the paramedics voice as he told her that the young girl, her daughter, was a victim of domestic violence and that the big sister had called when she had see that her sister was unconcious and bleeding from the mouth.

She remembered asking whether the others were okay only to see Addie rush into the hospital leading Lexie and Molly with a police officer following close behind.

The moments straight after were still a blur. But she vaguely remembered Addison apologising over and over again for not telling her sooner. The description of what her ex-husband had done to Meredith, and the confession from the girls that it ad happened regularly, still make her sick to her stomach.

The girls had never seen Thatcher again. The courts had ruled as much, and the 4 years jail time had not felt like enough to make up for the beatings his daughter had taken, the surgeries that had followed and the nightmares that had flooded her still.

....

Richard looked at his wife as he pulled her closer to him, feeling her move further into his embrace. He had met Ellis when he had been flown in to operate on her daughter and he had fallen in love with her. He could only imagine the thoughts that were flooding her mind.

"She's awake." they both heard, pulling them away from their thoughts. "The bay has calmed down, and she's now awake. We are just moving her back to her room if you want to go up."

Ellis hadnt needed telling twice. She was on her feet at once and on her way to see her precious daughter. The others followed close behind

She was sleeping. That was the first thing Ellis had noticed when she went running into the room. The second thing was the leg brace and lastly the bruises.

Moving closer, her eyes remained focused on her daughter.

She sat down on the side of the bed, opposite to Mark who was obviously asleep.

Reaching up, she ran her hand down the side of Merediths face, her fingers tracing over the bruise.

She head Meredith sigh and felt as she leaned into her touch.

Ellis moved her hand to run it through Merediths hair. Needing to just feel her and know that she was ok.

"Mommy" she heard Meredith murmur and she leaned forward to press a kiss on her forehead.

"I told Daddy dont." Meredith murmured, "but i didnt want him to hurt the girls."

Ellis sighed as she continued to stroke Merediths hair. "Your safe now." she whispered.

Molly and Lexie stood at the door with Richard. Lexie experiencing flashbacks of a similar moments years before and Molly stood there is shock as she tried to piece together the clues of the past.

"She's ok." Richard told them despite the fact that he knew that there was a long road still ahead of them.

.....................

Meredith laid in her hospital bed looking down at her leg and the brace holding it. Mark had been made to return to work and so had her sisters. Molly hadnt been back in to see her since the accident.

The feotal monitor had been removed just the day before with Addie feeling confident that the baby was okay and had definitely calmed.

Ellis had been by herside most days and Richard had only just managed the evening before to get her to go home to their bed. Meredith too had been surprised by the fact that he had managed to get her to leave just now to go get lunch.

Meredith knew that she had an hour of nothing and she had just spent the last 5 minutes thinking about everything that had been left unsaid.

She had heard the whispers during the evening between Ellis and Mark. She had heard the nurses talking. So she knew why Molly hadnt been back in to see her and she knew why her mother was staying close by.

Looking to make sure that no one was watching she lifted her leg to the edge of the bed, moving her body in the process before pushing herself up and standing.

She paused for a moment, looking down at her leg. "Still good" she said to herself before taking her first wobbly steps. She knew that she shouldnt really be walking on her leg. She had listened to Callie drone on and on about the importance of her letting her body heal.

She moved forward slowly, making her way towards the door. It wasnt until she reached the door that she realised she had been caught.

There was Mark standing by the nurses desk with a wheel chair next to him. He chuckled at the exasperated look on Merediths face.

"How did you know?" she asked as she folded her arms and watched as he moved forward with the wheel chair.

"When you sleep you snor. Like a trucker actually." he added, "and last nights sad attempts to fake sleep was enough to tell me that you were listening."

Meredith sighed before taking a seat in the wheel chair. "Is he still here?" she asked a moment later, after having given herself time to get comfortable.

Mark looked down at Meredith taking in her pleading eyes. "Yeah, he's here." he murmured.

Meredith had heard his words and noticed how his face had changed completely. "Have you seen him?" she asked.

Mark nodded. He couldnt lie to her about this.

"Did you threaten him?" she asked.

Again Mark nodded.

"Good" Meredith sighed as she leaned back in her chair.

Mark looked down at her confused. He didnt know what response to expect, but he hadnt expected that.

"Can you take me to see him?" she asked and Mark didnt know whether he should or not/

"There are somethings i need to say." she told him, her eyes again pleading with his to understand.

Mark internally debated whether doing this was the right thing to do or not.

"Please Mark i need to do this. You need to let me do this." she murmured to him.

Mark let out a sigh. "If your mother finds out." he started.

"Let her find out, but its time for me to have my say." Meredith said strongly. "It's time for me to step up."

Mark ran a hand over her hair. "Ok" h murmured. "But im staying with you." he told her.

Meredith let out a sigh before nodding. "ok" she murmured knowing that he wouldnt let her go otherwise.

"Black Eyes, Blue Tears"

Black eyes, I don't need 'em  
Blue tears, gimme freedom  
Positively never goin' back  
I won't live where things are so out of whack  
No more rollin' with the punches  
No more usin' or abusin'

I'd rather die standing  
Than live on my knees  
Begging please-no more

Black eyes-I don't need 'em  
Blue tears-gimme freedom  
Black eyes-all behind me  
Blue tears'll never find me now

Definitley found my self esteem  
Finally-I'm forever free to dream  
No more cryin' in the corner  
No excuses-no more bruises

I'd rather die standing  
Than live on my knees  
Begging please-no more

Black eyes-I don't need 'em  
Blue tears-gimme freedom  
Black eyes-all behind me  
Blue tears'll never find me now

I'd rather die standing  
Than live on my knees, begging please...

Black eyes-I don't need 'em  
Blue tears-gimme freedom  
Black eyes-all behind me  
Blue tears'll never find me now

It's all behind me, they'll never find me now

Find your self-esteem and be forever free to dream

....................

Mark wheeled Meredith into the room. Neither of them had acknowledged the two people occupying it.

He rested a hand on her shoulder. He wanted to reassure her that he was there. He had no intentions of going anywhere. He was never going to leave her alone with the beast of a man that had once called himself her father.

"Meredith?"

The words fell from Thatcher Greys mouth and it was enough to make her skin crawl.

"Do not say my name." she bossed in a voice so strong it had shocked him.

"Do not say my name." she repeated. "You have lost the right to speak of me and to me."

"Meredith" she heard Susan say and she recognised her from the accident.

"You dont have that right either." Meredith snapped. "I cant believe that you are still with him." she stated looking between them both with disbelief. She couldnt believe that the man occupying the bed was supposed to be her father.

Susan went to say something but Meredith stopped her. "I dont want to know." she told her.

"I dont know how either of you did it." she said honestly. "i did nothing to you." she said to Thatcher in a raised voice "and yet every night you beat me to the brink of death.

"And you." she said to Susan. "how could you stand back and watch him."

"I could have died. You were a monster." she stated before taking a deep breath.

"I was your daughter, I had barely turned 12. What kind of a human being does that?" She asked. "What did i do to you to deserve that kind of a beating ever night."

"No one deserves that kind of a beating." Mark murmured when he heard her voice waver and knew that her emotions were catching up with her.

"I was your daughter." she said again.

Thatcher didnt say anything and Mark looked at the man with intense hatred.

"I didnt deserve it, but you did it anyway." she murmured. "You are a beast and you shouldnt have been let out."

Mark gave her shoulder a squeeze reminding her that he was still there for her.

"YOU SHOULDNT HAVE DONE IT." Meredith said with as much strength as she could muster. before reaching to take control of the wheels of her wheel chair.

"Meredith" Susan said, causing Meredith to pause.

"Dont speak to me." Meredith said as she regained a little strength. "You are just as bad as him." she stated.

Meredith then looked up at Mark and he could see that she had used all of the energy that she had stored.

"Lets go." he murmured as he took the handles of her wheel chair.

As Mark began to wheel her away he was shocked to see her grab the wheels of the chair and bring them to a hault. She turned back to look in at Thatcher and Susan who were both now sitting there completely speechless.

"By the way." she said, regaining their attention. "I hope you rot in hell." she finished, feeling Mark then turn the wheel chair knowing that she had nothing more to say.

He watched as her hand drifted down to rest on her stomach, and prayed that together they could tackle what was left ahead of them, knowing that Meredith facing her father had been probably one of their biggest bumps.


	22. Chapter 22

He laid her down upon her bed, her eyes empty as the obvious exhaustion washed over her and he could see that it wouldn't be long until sleep would take over.

He ran his hand through her hair helping her to relax and give in to the sleep. He knew that she would more likely be haunted by nightmares but sleep would be a welcomed solitude, although he feared this one could be more intense after the recent experience.

Watching as her eyes drifted closed, he moved away only to grab the information pamphlet that the hospital had been required to give them. He figured that now was as good a time as any to find out more about Meredith's rehabilitation.

He had only been reading for a short moment before he had heard Meredith begin to whimper and he closed the pamphlet before moving to be beside her, hoping that his presence would comfort her even if she was lost in her dreams.

His mind wandered over the small amount of information that he had just read. He had not been surprised that the pamphlet recommended that the patient speak to a psychologist to help deal with the trauma of the accident. It had been something he had often discussed with his burn victims and a few others that he encountered. As he watched Meredith curl up in a ball to shield her stomach in her sleep he knew that it wouldn't be too long until the dreams that were keeping her up all night would be joined by the baby's movements. He knew that she needed to deal with all of this now so that she could cope further into the pregnancy.

"Nightmare?" he heard Ellis ask as she moved back into the room.

Mark looked up at his mother in law and nodded. "It's just started." He tells her as she moves to take a seat beside the bed.

Ellis went to touch her Meredith causing Mark t shake his head. "Dont, she hits back these days." He murmured.

However his words didn't stop her and soon Ellis had climbed onto the bed and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

Mark looked at her in shock, not sure whether he was hurt by the fact that Ellis was able to touch her and soothe her when he couldn't.

"Mark" Ellis said on seeing the expression on his face. "It wasn't only her dad that hit her." She confides. "She didn't say anything to me Mark, but i saw the bruises. I knew what was going on and I so very gently told her to end it."

Mark nodded and understood more of what Meredith had been telling him all those years ago.

"She will only relax when i touch her." Ellis adds "it a mom thing, she hits Richard and the girls too."

Mark sits their quietly, surprised to note that Meredith's whimpers had faded.

"Im thinking that Mer needs to talk to someone about this," He finally breaks. "and im not talking family." Mark adds.

Ellis looks at him in shock first before finally nodding. "I guess you're right." She concedes, "We tried it once but she refused to talk and the psychologist questioned why i bothered sending her."

Mark looked at her with concern. "What an idiot." He mumbled and Ellis nodded. "Maybe i should look into it." He suggested, sticking with the idea.

At first Ellis didn't know what to say but as she felt that Meredith was her responsibility.

"I will research them and then we can pick together." Mark offered.

Ellis nodded before they both succumbed to the silence. Ellis was content with holding her daughter while Mark watched on, waiting to be paged away. Neither brought up the psychologist thing again and Ellis wondered whether Meredith would tell her about the visit she made Thatcher when she woke.


	23. Chapter 23

It had taken a week for Mark to gather the information that he needed for Ellis to help chose a psychologist for Meredith and it had taken another month of Meredith attending physio and psych appointments before progress was starting to be made.

The brace came off only a few weeks ago, and she had began to move a little better.

The progress with the psychologist seemed to be going well too as Mark had noticed that her dreams had been coming less frequently.

Still there was the shadow in her eyes that had been haunting him long before the car accident.

Meredith now sat on the couch at home, pizza opened in front of her as she looked blankly at the television screen. She knew that Mark would be back soon, having moved back into the hotel after Meredith had her brace off. He had spent a few nights here and there, mainly when Meredith had given in to her need to have him there, to be in his arms. Tonight, she knew that it was all going to change.

Dr Wyatt had talked her through letting him in to the house permanently and promised that she knew how to handle it all.

She had known that he had been patient and accepting of her need for space, especially after she had hit him repeatedly during her nightmare, when she had only woken because his body had trapped hers, stopping her from hitting him again.

She of course had been very apologetic and his busted lip was a perfect reminder of why he shouldnt share a bed with her, but now as the dreams were becoming less frequent and not as violent, his presence in her bed had increased slightly, and yet she still hadnt let him move back in, and she hadnt been completely sure why until today.

It had of course been the topic of the last few sessions with Dr Wyatt and she had practically bashed her head against the wall until she had seen the reason that had kept her from letting him back in.

Looking down at her watch she noted that he was late. She also noted that fact that he usually called or sent a text if he was going to be home later than expected.

Letting out a sigh she closed up the pizza box and struggled to her feet grabbing her walking stick as she went. She couldnt believe the stupid physio was making her use it.

Struggling to balance the pizza in one hand and walk with the cane in the other, despite the cane being a complete waste of her time, she also had to turn, pushing open the kitchen door with her backside and entered the kitchen backwards.

She dropped the pizza on the kitchen table as she heard mark call "Mer" and she let out a small sigh at his timing.

She laid her cane on the table before boosting herself up on the bench.

"In the kitchen" she finally called already hearing him moving in that direction.

She listened as he dropped his bag on the floor and could picture him hanging his jacket up, as if it was the most normal thing for him to do.

She waited, her hand runbbing across her ever growing bump that seemed rather large on her very tiny frame. She knew that he would be there soon, standing in front of her and craved for his arms to be around her and his lips to be on hers.

Her mind wandered to what else he could be doing to her and with her if she would just let him.

Meredith let out a throaty moan as she heard the kitchen door open.

"Thinking of me i hope" Mark said as he moved through the kitchen and came to a stop in front of her, resting both his hands on either side of her.

"Hmmm" Meredith sighed slightly, "am thinking of a craving." she stated as she opened her eyes, looking straight into his.

"What would you like?" he asked wanting to deal with with her every craving. She had only really been craving banana milk and cherry lollipops so far. It was very rare for it to be anything different, like the other night when she had called him at 4am telling him that she would die if she went without some hogs breath cafe's curly fries. Of course she had wanted chilli sauce on top of them.

"You" she said before blushing. "I... Im craving you." she repeated.

"Hmmmm" Mark sounded throatily. "I've been waiting for this." he said as he leaned in and kissed her softly.

"You've been patient with me." she stated as she leaned into his embrace needing to feel close to him.

Mark didnt say anything as he relished in being with her just like this. "Your worth it." he tells has when he moves to drop a kiss on her head rubbing his hands up and down his sides.

"Come home to me." she demands causing him to look up at her. "I'm ready mark, i need you here, i want you here." she tells him. Her eyes begining to tear up. "Im not afraid anymore. I know now. I know more that ever. The problem was never you it was me."

Mark didnt know what to say as he tilted her head up so his lips could meet hers. "I'm coming home." he stated as he looked down at her adoringly.

"Im coming home for good this time." he said as he kissed her softly.

"Your home" she murmured as she rested her head on his shoulder happy to have him there.

"Im home" he murmured knowing that things were looking up.

DRY...YOUR....EYES.....DRY...YOUR...EYES

**The nursery was finished, the house now fully furnished and with their wedding photos and family photos now hanging Mark was sure that the place was looking more and more like their home, or how their home should look like.**

He had made sure that everything was ready, that everything felt safe, and most of all that meredith was happy to have him back in the house, in her bed and in her life on a permanent basis.

With all of that in mind, their home, their love, their life and their baby, Mark looked down upon her as she stubbornly stood in surgery, her stomach bulging and almost getting in the way of the work that she needed to do -or so she claimed. He had questioned her need for maternity leave, especially as they had approched the 8 month point, and even though Addie had suggested that she stay home, although, had stupidly said that the rest that she had received, even though she had been attending physio, had been enough to see the baby through to a comfortable place, and that the stress was nothing to worry about.

Meredith was in the middle of someones spine, Lexie stood on the otherside of the patient, tentatively holding a clamp and talking to Meredith.

So far Meredith had located the clot and was about to begin the process of removing the clot.

Mark watched as Meredith stood back slightly, a hand running over her stomach before a strange noise filled the room.

Mark noticed after a moment of shock that there was a pool of water at Merediths feet and then realised that she was moving back into position to remove the clot.

"Someone get her a wheel chair now." He said as he glared at one of the ignorant interns who hadn't noticed the change in atmosphere due to the notes they were charting.

"What?" one asked, having heard his demand.

"Wheelchair in their now." He ordered as he pointed down at his wife.

Meredith looked up at Mark, noticing that he was on his feet. She knew that he had noticed, as had the nursing staff.

Letting out a small sigh Meredith gestured for her sister to move around and stand beside her.

"Mer" Lexie said nervously seeing the mixed pool of water at her feet.

"You want neuro right?" she asked, looking her sisters features over quickly.

"Mer?" lexie sounded again as a scrub nurse stepped forward to ask whether she wanted to page the chief.

"Im in labour," meredith said to Lexie, "but I have time. If neuro is what you want, I will talk you through this." She stated and looked at her sister questioningly, she was not going to let Lexie do this if it wasn't her chosen field.

"Dr Sloan." Both the intern and the scrub nurse said at the same time.

"Hold up." She instructed before gesturing for the intern to bring her the stupid wheel chair her husband had sent down for her.

"Dr grey?" meredith asked again, and watched as her now pale sister nodded quickly.

"Good" she said as she took a seat in the wheel chair which was away from the or table. "Now Wilkins step up and hold the retractor, Lex, this is what you need to do" she stated before following through with the instructions.

...DRY...........YOUR........EYES............DRY..........YOUR.........EYES

Mark watched anxiously as Meredith talked Lexie through the remainder of the procedure, before ordering her to sew him up. He then watched as she began to wheel the chair towards the exit. He took the opportunity to now step in and help her de-gown.

"What were you thinking?" he asked nervously as he then wheeled her to the scrub room, only letting her stand so she could reach the tub.

"I was thinking that I was in the middle of a little boys back and that if it was our son or daughter on the table that I would want to make sure that the surgeon I had entrusted them too was able to see the surgery through." She said matter of factly before sitting back down, drying her hands on the paper towel that Mark had given her.

Shaking his head, but understanding her reasoning, Mark then wheeled her out of the room and up towards the birthing room where addie had told him to meet her.

They had discussed al of their birthing options over the previous month and had decided that it would be best to give a normal birth a try first before excluding it.

He moved quickly as possibly, encountering a worried ellis and Richard on the way, both in disbelief on hearing what Meredith had done.

"Forget all about it." A frustrated Meredith ordered. "Lets just get this baby out." She told them.

Everyone nodded, and almost wanted to laugh at her calm expression, knowing that many pregnant mothers would love not to be able to feel the pain of the contractions like Meredith was experiencing.

"What?" Meredith asked as her sister looked down at her stunned, Molly hating her more by the moment. "They can hold off on the epidural, cos I already know that I will be going back for this again." She said cheekily already knowing that both her and Mark were now thinking of 3 little sloans to fill their house.

Molly pinched her side and meredith giggled as Mark moved to help her onto the bed so Addie could get to work. 

**....DRY...YOUR.......EYES............DRY...........YOUR............EYES**

A baby girl brought into the world the natural way, how she knew how to push? She still wasn't quite sure. Addie put it all down as maternal instincts, Ellis had stated that it was from some sort of sensations and Mark, well he just didn't care. All he was happy about was the little girl he now held in his arms.

He had made sure to count all of her fingers and all of her toes, and he even double checked that he had counted correctly. They were all there. He even double checked that she didn't have a penis, because he had been pretty sure that she was going to have a boy. But all that put aside, he could not get past the amazingness of holding the tiny bundle in his arms. She was beautiful, and it didn't matter to him who she looked like because she was healthy and he was certain that was the only thing that mattered. He couldn't drag his eyes away from hers as he walked around the room talking to her softly.

Meredith lay in her bed sleeping, the effort of the birth exhausting her, not to mention that she ahd been scrubbed in on the surgery before that.

It was dark out and Ellis and Richard had gone home to sleep promising that they would be back again in the morning.

Mark was enjoying having all of this time with his baby girl despite knowing that Meredith would need to feed her soon adn that Addie, Lexie and Derek were waiting outside to see the new addition of the family.

Shifting her so her head rest up against his chest he cooed. "Your daddy's little angel. You saved us baby girl and i can never thank you enough for that."

..................DRY...........YOUR............EYES...............DRY.........................YOUR...................EYES....................................................

Meredith awoke to the whimper of her little girl. Moving quickly to sit up and look around the room, her eyes yet to adjust to the new light. She could hear her daughter and knew that she needed her. Needed to have her lost to her, to hold her tight.

Her eyes slowly adjusted and she spotted her sleeping husband, laying back in the chair beside her. Their baby girl was nestled into his chest, held securely in his arms.

Her cries grew louder and Meredith was quite surprised that the noise hadn't woke Mark, but then again, she could only imagine how long he had stayed up nursing her.

"Mark" she said softly hoping that it wouldn't take much to gain his attention.

Mark remained asleep and their little girl began to cry even louder.

"Mark" Meredith said, this time loud enough to wake him and draw a nurse into the room.

He quickly sat up, shifting their little girls so he could run a hand over his face. "im awake." He murmured.

"Good" Meredith replied with a small smile, watching as he moved to hold their baby more securely. "Now hand her over so i can feed her." She states in front of the nurse.

"Does she have a name?" Nurse Rose asked and Meredith recognises her as the woman who had tried to crack onto both Derek and Mark at the bar.

"She does have a name but you are not our nurse." Meredith said defensively and Mark moves quickly to hand over their precious bundle.

Meredith is grateful that Mark was so quick and she doesn't look at Rose again as she leans forward and one handedly unties her gown exposing her very full breasts.

She then moves her little girl to her breas and watches as she eagerly begins to suckle. "She's a quick learner." Meredith tells Mark as he moves to sit on the bed beside them.

"Like her daddy." Mark states smugly as he leans forward and kisses her while his other hand gently stroked her free breast. Both hearing Rose huff as she exits.

Mark smiled against Merediths lips as he kisses her once more before pulling back.

"So name?" Meredith asks with a giggle. She had given Mark the job of coming up with a name for a little girl, she having already picked a boys name for if it were a boy.

"Vanessa" Mark states simply. "Vanessa Jae Sloan."

Meredith smiles at the name, quite proud of his choice. "Perfect" she states as she uses her free arm to pull him back in for a kiss.

"It had to be" he murmured when he pulled back. "She's perfect."

Both Mark and Meredith shift to look down at the small girl who was busy suckling on her mothers breast. Both sure that little Vanessa Jae Sloan was indeed perfect in every little way.

..................DRY................YOUR...........EYES........DRY................YOUR.............EYES...............

Vanessa Jae Sloan was the most precious little girl that any of their family had ever met. She had captured the hearts of the whole hospital, even the 1 and only Christina Yang, who still remembered the grilling that Meredith had given her on her first day at Grace.

Vanessa grew fast, and after her first year she had managed to run, before walking, and caught everyone of guard when she began talking. Her first word was "ouch". That of course made Meredith giggle with shock, as well as made her glad that she too wasn't going to suffer from the same condition that she herself had done.

Mark was besotted by his baby girl, and even though he had been certain that she had been a boy, he found himself thankful everyday for the little girl that was in his life. Of course that didn't stop him from taking her to baseball games, and fighting with Meredith over what teams she should be supporting.

A few years after Vanessa's birth Meredith fell pregnant, this time with twins, both boys, and spitting images of their daddy. The weirdest thing that seemed to dazzle both Meredith and Mark was how alike they looked and yet how different they were. It also seemed that Tate Sloan, they quieter of the two, had ended up with Meredith's condition, and through much consultation, was assured to be a happy and healthy child who would just have to be watched. Between Tate and Logan, Meredith knew that she had her hands full.

Logan was the sporty athletic boy who always got into trouble, and Tate was the little skater boy, who went against everything he was advised not to do, and embraced skateboarding as a life style rather than a hobby.

Vanessa grew speedily, and her little voice and her big attitude, a delightful combination of both her parents, led her into greatness, not only at school, or in the Drama club that she had joined, but it seemed that the young girl was that good at everything that she did that she was actually screened to appear in an up coming movie. Her part was the biggest part a new child actress could receive. Both Meredith and Mark were proud, and struggled to manage their schedules to have someone on site with her the whole time.

Logan excelled in sports, and as he passed through his elementary schooling, he pretty much walked into any team, he wished to play on. His ability, Mark was sure, was going to be the one thing that would carry him through life.

Tate on the other hand, was the kid that the others weren't too sure of at school. His skater boy look, and his skater boy rep, led others to think that he might head towards the pot smoking side of things. Meredith figured that would be why most people were so shocked when he topped all of his classes and kicked the snobby kids' buts.

Of course, their stories, their livelihoods and their futures, are another tale altogether, and while they have been, and still are, Mark can't help but think back to that frightful day when his life first walked out the door, and he couldn't be more thankful that he had followed her out to Seattle. He had no idea where they would be if they hadn't thought for this, for their life, and for their family. But one thing Mark did know was that it was now time for him to Dry is eyes.

** so this is the end of this fic. i hope the ending is suffice. cheers katie **


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